Le Chemin de Vie

3 more months!

2008-04-27T20:03:00.000-07:00

I've been M.I.A...Seems like I have zero free time these days. Wedding planning (& work) are consuming my life. I'm loving the wedding planning & hating the job. 3 months more until our wedding day! I can't wait. Time is flying! I have tons of little things to do before now & then. The above picture is of my DIY wedding supplies. I've been DIYing my invites, aisle decorations, reception decor and more. As you can see I have a hard time answering people's question when they ask me what my wedding colors are. Who can commit to 2 or 3 colors? Not me!

The most important thing that has happened since I last wrote is that my nephew was born. He is so sweet & handsome. When I saw him a few minutes after his birth I couldn't believe my eyes. I was in awe of him. No other newborn has affected me in that way. He's amazing. I only wish that I could see him more. I've only seen him 3 times and he turned one month old on Friday. I really need to make a trip to Pasadena this week.

Anyway, I will try my best to keep up on this blog if at the very least once a week. Hopefully I will be able to fill you in on these last 3 months of craziness before we say "I DO!"

xoxo

P.S. Check out my wedding BIO that I use on TheKnot. It needs updating but it's kind of a wedding preview. Let me know what you think!

Here Comes The Bride!

2008-03-14T11:49:00.000-07:00

I'm sorry for neglecting you for so long! Life has been busy! The new job doesn't allow for much blog time and every chance I get to go online I've been sucked into the bride sites. Stephen & I are getting married in late July which is relatively soon! Since we set a date I've been a very busy bride to be! There is so much to do from now until then and I at times I feel a little overwhelmed. Despite the stressful days I am having so much fun. I love all the little details of wedding planning. Although we're on a tight budget I have been lucky enough to find great deals & I haven't had to compromise too much. I can't wait to see how it all turns out. I'll be so happy to finally be married! I never thought I'd be a bride in the traditional sense (I always thought we'd end up going to Vegas & tying the knot) but I've fallen into the bride-2-be role just fine! ha-ha! I am far from a bridezilla but I am learning that certain aspects of the wedding planning process can make a girl go slightly crazy! I need to learn to cherish this time because I'll only be a bride once. I'm trying to let go & have fun with it. I'm still weary of the attention & boring people to death with endless wedding details. I know how people can be tough on brides & everyone has an opinion of how things should be done. So far so good. I hope in this process I can stay sane & be a happy & stress free bride-2-be! =)

In other news...

B. Bear, Baby B & Baby Sophia are almost here! Yippee for all the new babies!

Fell of my bike yesterday pretty bad. Still in pain. Yippee for helmets!

Yippee for Fridays!

Welcome 2008!

2008-01-14T08:37:00.000-08:00

Hello dear friends. I am sorry I've been out of touch. So much has happened since my last post. I don't know where to start. Since I last wrote I left my job at Trevor. My last day was very sad! One of my bosses took the day off & the other had bronchitis so I was a little bummed about that. My co-workers took me out to a nice lunch & then four of us snuck out of the office & got pedicures down the street. I had so much fun on my last day which made it harder to say goodbye. I'm really missing my old job & my old routine. I know that the decision I made to leave Trevor was the right one but it's still been hard to swallow. Especially because people at the new place have been less then welcoming. I also feel like I took a step down in my position. I managed major projects at Trevor & now I'm stamping checks & annoying people when I ask questions. It's been tough to say the least. I shouldn't complain. I'm employed, I have an amazing commute & I should be thankful. I am thankful!

The holidays were memorable & I enjoyed spending time with Steph's & my family. I took so many photos & I have still yet to post them all on flickr. In other news...Stephen & I got engaged! Although, we've been together for awhile it was a complete shock! He proposed on December 30 under the pier at Huntington Beach. It was so special & so romantic! My ring is beautiful! I am so unbelievably happy! I'd like to get married sometime in late summer but things are still up in the air. We're trying to keep things very inexpensive but we still want to include all our family & friends. I have a few ideas up my sleeve. It's going to be a very DIY wedding! I'm trying to figure out how to have a casual, fun, yet elegant wedding for little money. This will be a challenge! I'm so excited!

I can't believe it's 2008! I can remember writing my first 2007 post. Time flies!!!

Holiday Craziness!

2007-12-06T11:58:00.000-08:00

I broke the news on Tuesday! It was very hard for me but it went much better then I imagined. Everyone was so understanding and supportive. I was going to tell my boss on Monday but it was such a chaotic day & it just wasn't the right time. Everyone was a little shocked but they knew that it was only a matter of time. It's just so darn far! My last day is a week from today. It's bittersweet because I've really bonded with my co-workers these last few weeks. They're awesome people and I'm really going to miss them. Everyone here has the week between X-mas & New Years off (PAID!) & I just found out that the new job is making me work that week! The offices are closed but because last minute end-of-year gifts come in someone has to be there to process them...since I'm the newbie that will be me! =( Oh well! There goes all my holiday plans! Christmas is coming way too fast! I've barely done any shopping & I can't get Stephen to put the dang X-mas lights up! I'm about ready to get out the ladder & do it myself. There are so many dinners, parties, errands, traditions and obligations. I'm feeling stressed and I'm not even taking into consideration starting a new job! I so badly wish I could just get away for a bit. Last night I did some Christmas shopping and I ended up buying a couple things for myself! I have to stop doing that! I need to make a shopping list & stick to it! I have to make a To Do List. Oh Geez, I'm getting overwhelmed!!! I need to relax...

Busy!

2007-12-01T22:57:00.000-08:00

Been busy busy busy...What else is new? Well I do have some news!!!...I got a job offer! Very close to home! It's about a 5 minute walk! The job itself is very similar to what I'm doing now - it pays slightly less, but I will reclaim at least four hours of my day! Right now I'm commuting almost 2 hours to work & 2 hours back. I do like my job & my co-workers & I'm feeling a huge amount of guilt for leaving them during their busiest time of year. I got the offer Friday night & I am planning to tell my boss & co-workers on Monday if all goes as planned! I'm so freaked out about how they are going to react. I know that I'm probably giving up certain aspects of my job that I love...but 4 hours of my life back is so worth it! Wish me luck and send your good vibes that they won't totally flip out when I give them the news! Yikes!!! I am having major anxiety about this life changing decision. I'm trying not to over think things. I know that in the long run this will be the best thing for me.

I have cut down on swaps lately but I joined a cool one where swappers come here to read my Blog. Soooo...Welcome Blog Love Swap-bot friends!!!

Among the stress of work, the job offer & the crazy Christmas season I dealt with a mini crisis last week. Lily went missing! She usually greets Stephen at the door when he's home from school but last Wednesday she was a no show. I went to look for her and she was no where to be found! We looked everywhere!!! Moved the bed, couches, tables and she wasn't anywhere. We called her and not a sound! I thought she may have escaped so Steph, Woody & I walked the neighborhood calling her name. At one point I saw what I thought was a dead animal in the road & I lost it! Stephen went ahead to investigate and luckily it was only a bag. I was so upset! When we got back in I let Woody wander around and he went right to the drawers in the laundry room. Stephen opened one of the drawers & there she was! I have no idea how she got in there! I don't remember closing any drawers! Anyway, she was safe and it was such a relief. I think it made me realize that although there will never be another Sammy, I am able to really love another kitty. Lily & I have really bonded since then. =) Woody & Lily are wonderful pets. Woody is such a mama's boy. He got he final set of shots today so I am looking forward to taking him out & hopefully he'll get over being such a scaredy pup.

I finally finished the book Sylvia recommended, The Lovely Bones. It was very emotional! I actually cried while reading it. There were a couple things I didn't like about the story, or things that I would have done different if I were the writer but all in all I liked it very much. I am waiting on pins & needles for the movie to come out! It was so thought provoking and I keep thinking about the concept of heaven. Very interesting!

I also got finished with a couple Netflix movies that friends recommended & here is what I thought...in a nutshell! LOL!

1408 : Great one man show. Almost gave me a heart attack. Scary with a blah ending.

Knocked Up: Am I the only one in America (other then Stephen) who thought this movie was lame? It was slow & it seemed like they were making up the lines as they went along. A few giggles but it wasn't fall on the floor hilarious like everyone said it was. 40 Year Old Virgin was way better!

Wolf Creek: Chilling, scary...OMG, I'm going to have nightmares. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

The next few weeks are going to be insane but I will try my best to pop in & let you all know what's going on. I'm looking forward the last adventures of 2007 & the wild year of adventures in 2008. I'm excited! I can't believe this year went by so fast! I wish life would slow down a bit.

So true...

2007-11-13T10:35:00.000-08:00

IT'S A BOY!!!

2007-11-09T16:10:00.000-08:00

Look at my new nephew William Atticus! I can't wait to meet him!

I have gone Pro!

2007-11-06T17:10:00.000-08:00

Flickr Pro! On Friday, Stephen surprised me with something better than flowers! A new 12.0 Mega Pixels camera! I love it! I’m still learning how to use it so bear with me & my slightly out of focus photos. I took some shots at The Day of the Dead festival on Friday & tons of the pets over the weekend. I just can’t get enough photos of their furry cuteness! Every time they snuggle up together I run to grab the camera. I’m having so much fun with them & they keep me company when Stephen is at school.

I am going to get a booth at an upcoming craft sale. I’m splitting the booth with my friend Dolores (EonsMomma on Swap-bot). This will save us some money on booth fees. The space is going to be limited but I probably won’t have a ton to sell anyway since I haven’t started making anything yet! The sale is only 3 weeks away!!! I better get going. I think I’m going to make pins, ornaments & some shadowboxes. Stephen is going camping with his cousins this weekend so I have a craft filled weekend planned. I'll post some photos of my creations.

Tuesday! Bleh! My least favorite day of the week...at least it's nearly over.

In Honor of Grandma

2007-11-02T11:09:00.000-07:00

I remember...

-How she loved a cup of coffee with something sweet

-Her favorite spot on the couch - don't dare sit in her spot!

-Her couch exercises

-Playing Mexican Bingo with beans

-Going with her to the "Beauty Shop" in her friends basement

-Helping her make Tacos, with lots of pepper

-How she loved BBQ ribs

-How she'd laugh when she'd watch the Newlywed game & Bob Eubanks would say the word "Whoopee".

-Driving around with her in her yellow Nova, which smelled like gasoline

-Her Avon bubble bath & Skin so Soft

-Watching Day of Our Lives with her

-Her silver flower ring

-Her love for the color yellow

-Her idea to use Palmolive on her porch as a make shift slip-n-slide for me & Billy. LOL!

-Christmas and her dry, still on the cross, Douglas Firs, with clumps of tinsel

-Shopping with her at Big Buy market

-Her love for Whiskey Pete's & slot machines

-Making us be quiet & hide from her neighbor Julie when she'd come knocking

-Her old stories, especially the one about how she fought a lady in a laundry mat & ripped her shirt off (my Grandma was tough!)

-Her couch with the plastic cover

-The way she smelled, her giggle & how she loved getting "dolled up" for special occasions

R.I.P Grandma!!! I love you...

Halloween Candy Hangover

2007-11-01T15:35:00.000-07:00

I'm so sad...Halloween is over! I didn't dress up (except for my light up pumpkin socks) but I had a great time anyway. I had a blast playing with the pets, eating pizza with Steph & Greg & handing out candy. We had more Trick-or-Treaters then last year & we came close to running out of candy. I had so much fun decorating the house, putting together treat bags & waiting for the kids to come. Halloween brings back so many great memories of being a kid. I love it!

I finished all my swaps & I am on a swapping hiatus for a few weeks - unless something intriguing pops up sooner. I posted some photos on Flickr of my recent sent & received swaps. I am awaiting 2 Dotee Dolls & 3 Frida ornaments. I can't wait to see what I get! It is the best feeling to come home from a long day at work to find a package waiting for me.

Tonight I am going to finish my Dia de los Muertos altar. I made 4 fake sugar skulls & I have been collecting little odds & ends to add to it. I'm really excited to see how it turns out. I love Dia de los Muertos. It's such a beautiful celebration of life. I saw the coolest DOD wedding cake on Flickr & I saved the photo because I want one just like it for my wedding (which will be in 2008 even though Stephen is dragging his feet!!! LOL!) I can't wait! Wedding 2008 or BUST! If I wait any longer I really will resemble the bride on top of that cake!

HaPpY HaLLoWeeN!

2007-10-31T22:45:00.000-07:00

Love,
Woody
xoxo

Tuesdays Blow!

2007-10-30T15:39:00.000-07:00

I've been on this never-ending quest to figure out how to manage my horrendous commute, work full time and still enjoy the things I love. It’s nearly impossible but I’ve been trying. I’ve started to wake early (well earlier then usual) to tend to my new little pets & the house. I spend my lunch hour reading or crafting. I zoom home (well not zoom since my commute can take up to two hours) make a quick frozen dinner, play with the pets, work on swaps, watch TV & try to spend quality time with Stephen when he’s home from school. Needless to say, I am exhausted and not really giving any of those things the full attention that they need. At least I am feeling somewhat accomplished. I stuffed a gazillion things into my weekend as usual. A BBQ, vet appointment, historical home tour (amazing), Peruvian food with the newlyweds (which was beyond delicious I should add), Target shopping, lunch with my honey & enjoying time with Lily & Woody(the sweetest fur babies). It was one of the best weekends I've had in so long...but now I'm feeling drained & tired. I was falling asleep and my desk so I thought I'd take a much needed break & accomplish another thing I love. This blog! Yes, I am guilty of blogging & slacking on the job! So what! I really hate Tuesdays. It's the worst day of the week. The weekend is a distant memory & Friday is still worlds away. Besides at my job (& previous job) Tuesdays always mean office meetings. Boy, do I despise office meetings...especially when ice breakers are involved. I am the anti-office worker and it's funny how I find myself stuck in a cubicle under a fluorescent light. Bleeeehh! At least, I am in one of the most unconventional office environment you'll come across. I still wish I was an artist with my own art studio. I think when I have a baby it is definitely something I will pursue. That's my dream, one of many!

Tomorrow is Halloween! I put together little treat bags for the Trick-or-Treaters. Last year we only got a handful of kids passing through trying to get to the historical district. I have 3 pumpkins ready for carving & hopefully they will bring us lots of kids. I just love Trick-or-Treaters because it was something I had so much fun doing. I can't wait to have kids & Trick-or-Treat vicariously through them! haha! Yes, I am one of those weird pet parents who likes to dress up pets. I just can't seem to find costumes small enough for them. Maybe I can come up with a cape or something. Anyway, I better get back to work! Happy Halloween Eve!

I love my new babies!

2007-10-24T12:32:00.000-07:00

Finally, some time alone! I have the office to myself for another 30 minutes! Time to blog! haha...Things are FABULOUS (Do I sound WeHo enough for you?). We got our new puppy on Saturday. His name is Woody & he is so adorable! The first two days were difficult but little by little he seems to be adjusting. Lily pounced him a gazillion times the first few days & he would yelp every time. Now he bounces around and provokes her & now when she pounces him he fights back. He's smaller then her but I'm getting a little worried he might bite her too hard. She must like it because she keeps coming back for more. They roll around & chase each other. It's so cute! She tries to groom him but usually he tries to bite her tongue. It's funny! He sleeps in his little crate at night which I put on the bed & she sleeps right outside the door. The first night in his crate he cried & she sat by him until her stopped. Now he falls right asleep once he's in the crate. He's pretty good so far. I heard horror stories on the Doxie forums & I was slightly

panicked! I'm sure he'll get into lots of puppy trouble but I just have to be patient with him. He's still a baby & has so much to learn. Cats are easy...well easier!

I am a little behind on my swaps. The send by dates are quickly approaching & I haven't even started. I got done with my Skulls for the Dia de Los Muertos swap just in time. I love swapping but I wish I had more time to do it. I have 3 more to do & then I may take a temporary break so I can work on some crafts for a holiday sale. I will have to do one X-mas swap for sure. There are just way too many cool swaps on Swap-bot. I will post photos of my swaps on flickr shortly. I am banned from posting anymore photos until next month or until I upgrade. I will probably upgrade because I really enjoy flickr.

The other night I had a dream that my best friend (and neighbor) had a party & didn't invite me. I kept looking over the fence to see what was going on at the party. It looked like so much fun & all my other good friends were there. I was so sad...She recently found out she's pregnant. I think pregnancy is the real party I'm wishing to be invited to! Dreams say so much...I also had a dream that Trick-Or-Treaters came to my house & I didn't have any candy. I was running around the house in a panic getting canned food to put in their bags! LOL! I wonder what that one means? I also dreamt that I lived in a high rise & from my window I could see buildings collapsing from an earthquake or some disaster. It was scary! Maybe it had to do with all the fires raging. You feel insecure when you see people's lives going up in smoke! Sad & scary.

Spoiled!

2007-10-14T13:04:00.000-07:00

October's Surprises!

2007-10-11T22:15:00.000-07:00

I'm sorry to have left you all in suspense since my last post! I ended up going on the 2nd interview for the "dream job." I redeemed myself the second time around. I felt good about the interview and the feedback I received afterwards. I got a follow up e-mail requesting references so I thought for sure I had it in the bag! I was even slightly stressed just imagining how I would break the news to my boss. It felt like it was a sure thing & I never feel that confident after interviews! I was patiently awaiting the job offer. A few days passed, then a week, then a week and a half...Finally I got an e-mail saying she went with the other candidate but how great I am and that she wishes she could hire us both, blah blah blah. I have to admit I'm still really bummed about it. REALLY BUMMED!

Other then that waste of time...Life is good. Stephen had his surgery & it went well. I'm so happy & relieved!...We also got a new kitty! Can you believe it? I wasn't sure I wanted another cat or would be able to love another cat after Sammy. I will always love my Sammy & there will never be another cat like her. This little kitty is special in her own way. She is all Puuurrrsonality! LOL! She is a Tonk, so she is affectionate & smart. She demands attention! She's slightly different coloring then Sammy was as a kitten & she has this unusually fine hair that is slightly long & she puffs up into a ball when she's excited. I am so in love with her & we just met! LOL! I found a Tonk breeder in Georgia after striking out with a bunch of local breeders. They said they would have a Tonkinese Natural Mink available for adoption a few days after I e-mailed them! What perfect timing! She arrived at LAX on Friday. Stephen & I went to pick her up & we were met with a BIG surprise! There were TWO tonks in the carrier! I don't know exactly how it happened but the other kitten was supposed to go to Houston, TX. It was a big ordeal because we couldn't reach the breeder & we had no idea what to do with the little stowaway. We brought them both home & enjoyed 4 fun days with two kittens running around the house. I fell in love with both kitties & I was hoping the Houston family would change their mind about him & I could keep them both. No such luck! I had to send "The Little One" to Houston. I cried! I talked with his new owner & she is going to keep in touch. I hope she does. He's my kitties brother & I felt so bad for separating them. The Houston couple named him Fievel after Fievel Goes West. Very fitting! LOL! After throwing a few names around I decided on calling my kitty Lily (Tiger Lily)...Some other BIG news is that we'll be getting a Doxie puppy On Oct. 20th...That way these two can grow up together. My two little brownies. It's going to be an adventure...

Updates: Other then that I've been annoyingly busy at work. I have a ton of fun swaps this month & I'm trying to post photos of them regularly on Flickr. Halloween is in the air! I have my decorations up...too much fun! I love Halloween!!! oh, & if you don't already know....I AM GOING TO BE AN AUNTIE AGAIN!!! Exciting!!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ERIC X 2!!!

OK, I think that's most of the updates.

2007-09-20T14:41:00.000-07:00

Ohhh my. Hell has frozen over! "The lady" wants to bring me back in for a second interview. What a roller coaster of emotions. I suppose my witty e-mail saved me. Do I want this? I'm not sure anymore. I guess I'll put myself through torture again & see what happens. I was actually a little relieved to never have to see her again. Arghhhhh!!! I'm stressed!!!

I am mine

2007-09-19T20:15:00.000-07:00

I had an interview today. It was literally around the block. It's an awesome opportunity but of course I came across as an idiot & screwed it up for myself. Here's why it was an awesome opportunity.

Great position
No commute vs. my 1.5 hour commute each way
A month off every year
Great hours - gives me time to go to the gym, craft, have pets, have a life
My own office

I don't hate my current job in fact I am kind of fond of it & the people I work with. The hours & the commute are what's driving me insane. At least once a day I'm in my car practically in tears. I'm getting home after dark now. I'm ready to go to bed & start all over again as soon as I get home. Soooooo, I apply for this job & lo and behold I get the interview. The lady interviewing me seemed nice enough in our e-mail correspondence. She ended up being quite serious, a little eccentric & kind of a bitch. She asked me tough questions & wouldn't let me go on to the next question until she was 100% happy with my answer. She kept asking me to "elaborate" & was kind of rude. She made me really nervous & I started to trip over my words. I was so uncomfortable! She told me I was cutting my answers too short, not marketing myself good enough & then she picked up my resume to critic it line by line. I wanted to go home & crawl under my blankets. I tried to pull it together but it was too late. It hurt because her criticisms were totally on. Everything she said was true! I couldn't verbalize to her why she should hire me no matter how hard I tried. My nerves caused me to become tongue tied! Since kindergarten I've been wishing I could be like everyone else - a go getter, aggressive, tough, outgoing. It's hard being an INFP. The constant pressure to conform has been constant throughout my life. I'm sick of being fake, it takes so much energy. Take me or leave me. I don't think I'm capable of changing. Should I be forced to change? To get a ahead, maybe. I don't know.

P.S. I think Tonkinese cats are all INFPs. That's why I love um!

P.P.S. The lady also said I needed a firmer handshake. LOL! My dad used to say holding my hand is like holding a cloud & I like it that way! What does a firm handshake say about a person?

Miss me?

2007-09-11T09:54:00.000-07:00

I've been too busy for blogging these days. Work, traffic, a cold, exhaustion, & pure laziness has kept me away. I'm ready to jump back on the blog wagon. I have so much to bore you with! Until then, take a look at my Flickr account. I posted photos from some swaps & my wonderful (but short) vacation.

xoxo

Time has come today!

2007-08-15T12:44:00.000-07:00

Note: Whole Foods Butternut Squash Enchiladas = Not good AT ALL!

I got "gypped" by 3 swappers! What is up with that!? I am working on a self portrait for a current swap. I already received a cool self portrait from the UK, which I'll post on MyFlickr later today. I better get a move on! Luckily my portrait doesn't have far to travel - just a few miles away. I opened an etsy account and I'm going to try & actually make some money from my creations. Another goal is to add some stuff to my collection of large shadowboxes & paintings so I can have a show. I'm so inspired by all the artist's I've met via Swap-bot & MySpace. Hopefully I'm inspired enough to finally do something with my passion! I had so much time off while I was job hunting & I wasn't productive at all! I'm so disappointed in myself! I was really depressed and uninspired. I rarely worked on my art or got off my ass and went to the gym. Now that I'm inspired again I am lacking the time & energy. I'm trying to figure out a schedule that includes work, the gym, time for art, my loved ones & my house. I want to make all of those things a priority. Is that possible? Advice needed! I hate doing a million things at once, dodging traffic & running around like a crazy woman. I like peace. I'm hoping this little upcoming vacation brings me a little of that before it's back to the rat race again. I can't wait!

Heaven in a bottle

2007-08-13T17:04:00.001-07:00

Mmmmmmm, this stuff is good. A new addiction to add to my many others. I struck out finding a bookstore on my lunch hour so I ended up wandering around Whole Foods. I bought Sushi for lunch & Butternut Squash Enchiladas to make for dinner. Yum! Whole Foods makes me crazy!

I'm still grieving from the loss of my Sammy. It doesn't seem to be getting any easier, but I know in time it will. I got her ashes back on Wednesday. They're in a little box in her bed until I can think of a proper place to put them. I was home sick of Friday & I was napping on the coach & I had this strange sensation she was laying on me, I opened my eyes & there she was! I'm pretty sure I was dreaming it but it felt real for a few seconds. I think I was in some sort of partial dream state where I was semi aware of my surroundings. When I snapped out of it I was really bummed out! I fell back to sleep & there she was again, but this time sharing the pillow with me! It must have been a dream but it felt so real.

In other news, Stephen & I are going to Martha's Vineyard! It's only a short trip, but we both need an adventure. We can't wait to leave "it all" behind for a few days. By the way, keep checking my Photo Album. I'm trying to post photos regularly despite having to use Stephen's paparazzi camera or my cell phone. I need a new camera! I posted some pictures of my most swaps! Enjoy! xoxo

TGIF!

2007-08-03T17:26:00.001-07:00

It's Friday & I could use one of these!

Rants

2007-08-02T15:27:00.000-07:00

Dear crazy guy that flipped me off today,
I wouldn't have cut you off if you would have been courteous & let me in. Chill out, relax & take a chill pill. The look on your wifes(?) face was priceless! Stop embarrassing her by being a crazed jerk!

Dear alarm clock,
I'm sick of hearing from you. Shut-up!

Dear Subway Sandwich Artist,
Stop looking at me weird because I don't want your stupid vegetables. They're yucky and I don't like them! Oh, & easy on the mayo!

Dear Flaky Swap Partners,
How do you sleep at night?

Dear people with embarrassing e-mail addresses,
speedofetish@fillintheblank.com is not very professional. I'd advise against using it on your resume.

Dear Parking Garage Nazi,
Your parking garage is gross, on the verge of collapsing & it smells like pee. Stop guarding it like it's Fort Knox!

Dear Pedro Almodovar,
I was loving Volver, with it's bright colors, camera angles & strong women characters BUT why did you end it like that? I thought my DVD was defective. That wasn't cool.

Uh Oh!

2007-07-31T16:32:00.000-07:00

I am an idiot. I just sent one of our big donors an e-mail that was meant for someone else. Arghhh. I forgot how to recall a message and by the time I figured it out, it was too late. I hope I didn't make him mad. Every once in awhile (no matter how much I try to avoid it) I make a little "uh-oh" like that. I guess I shouldn't beat myself up over such a small thing. At least it wasn't a BIG "uh-oh"! Donors, who you'd think are kind and generous can be difficult. I haven't run into that here as much as the last 2 places I worked but I'm still in defense mode. I'm just a little overwhelmed right now. I need a vacation from traffic, work, house cleaning, the blues and the drama that has been following me around lately. It's only Tuesday and I'm already whining! I guess I'm just in desperate need of a REAL vacation! Hopefully Stephen & I can make it to Martha's Vineyard for Labor Day. I'm imagining riding bikes around the island, having some good lobster (with lots of butter), lounging on the beach, shopping and taking walks around town with my love. Ahhhh, feels like I'm there already! ;-)

Where do cats go when they die?

2007-07-30T14:04:00.000-07:00

I’m heartbroken. I miss my Sammy. I know in time it will get easier. Sammy wasn’t just my pet. She was my friend, confidant, security blanket and my history. She was there through most of my childhood, my teenage years and my twenties. If you didn’t know Sammy or my adoration of her then you probably don’t know me very well. She was a gift to lift my spirits and she never stopped cheering me up the entire 20 years. I feel immense guilt for making the decision to put her to sleep. I know it was the best thing to do. Her kidneys had shut down and she was uncomfortable & unable to eat, sleep or go to the bathroom. It’s still a tough decision to make. I keep wondering if there was something else I could have done to “fix” her. I hope she’s okay wherever she is. Maybe it’s hard for me to feel good about my decision because I’m not sure if I believe in heaven. I struggle with this every time someone I love dies. I’d love there to be a heaven but I have no proof of its existence. How heavenly can a place be when you’re separated from your body and those you love? Everything Sammy loved isn’t there. Me, El Pollo Loco scraps, Fancy Feast, being scratched under her chin by Stephen, hugged by me and laying on the living room floor. All those things are here on earth. I don’t recall them opening an El Pollo Loco in heaven and our living room floor is definitely still in Whittier. The heaven I imagine doesn’t impress me or comfort me. If you don’t take your body with you then how could you enjoy life's pleasures after death? Would you be able to enjoy Filet Mignon if there was no need for food? Can you kiss in heaven? What about drive down the coast? I don't want to be in a place without those things. I remember the day when my dad told me that the body is only a shell and that only your soul goes up to heaven – I was confused & horrified! I still am after 25 years! Leaving my body behind, happily floating around somewhere for eternity & chillin with God (I hear he’s so judgmental! LOL!) doesn’t sound like my kind of fun. If it’s so great then why are people so scared of death? I’ve been waiting for Sammy’s spirit to come visit but I guess she must be happy wherever she’s at. Maybe her little kitty soul is floating around the living room? It meant so much to have Sammy put to sleep in our home. It was sad, and ugly, but at the same time, beautiful that she died with family and in the comfort of her home & in her favorite spot. I got to hold her little hand through it all. I was happy we could do that for her. 20 years of friendship earned that respect. The past few weeks have been hard, even before Sammy took a turn for the worse. I’ve been dealing with some disappointments, sadness, Rose’s death, changes at work and trying to sort out some things in my head. Right when I was seeing the light at the end of the tunnel I got hit by a brick – actually a couple of bricks in the same week. I know I’ll be fine soon. Through these tough times, at least I find comfort in my family & friends. Thanks guys! Stephen, thank you for all you did for me & Sammy, for the gorgeous flowers, the very special card & for getting me out of the house this weekend. I had the best time. I love you!!!

Thought of the day: Please comment of your idea of heaven. I’ve been struggling with this concept since childhood…maybe someone can convince me that it’s not just hype. I’m not swayed by clouds, angels and harps so give me something good. Give me an intriguing concept to ponder.

RIP Sammy

2007-07-27T15:34:00.000-07:00

Sammy's page

I am a guitar hero

2007-07-10T22:49:00.000-07:00

I kick ass....OK, I'm only on the beginner level...but I still kick ass!

Life just aint' fair!

2007-07-09T17:25:00.000-07:00

Rose's death is starting to sink in. I can't stop thinking about our last lunch and how unfair her death is. The service was Friday and it was beautiful. There were loving words said by friends, a harpist and lovely flowers and pictures. Her daughter and son-in-law are strong and loving people. They planned her funeral just the way she would have liked it with every last detail just perfect. Rose taught me everything about event planning. We used to have so much fun when we'd go for walk through and food tastings at the Hyatt. Those were fun times! During her funeral a strong wind full of electricity came out of nowhere. It was a hot windless day and the wind whipped up and surrounded the crowd. A few people remarked afterwards that the wind was a sign from Rose saying she's okay. I'd like to believe this is true.

The rest of the weekend came and went too fast. I hung out by the pool with Jenny, wacthed a very bloody UFC fight & spent some time with my parents on Sunday. Today I'm feeling tired and gloomy. I'm headed home for some carnitas burritos with Stephen. I can't wait to get out of the traffic zoo and get home!

Rose

2007-07-05T15:13:00.000-07:00

I received the sad news that my old manager/old co-worker/dear friend/ Rose passed away sometime at the beginning of this week. I'm still in shock and I'm not sure if I even believe it's true. It can't be! I just saw her last week! We had a fabulous lunch, a decadent dessert and bottle of champagne. We talked and laughed. She was full of hope and excited about the possibly that her new treatment was going to work. She told me she wasn't ready to die. She talked about a doctor that had left her with no hope and suggested grief counseling. She had just found a new doctor who was willing to help her. Giving up and having no hope was unacceptable to her. She had so much more she wanted to do. Short term goals like finally getting the chance to watch the last episode of Grey's Anatomy, planning a Happy Hour and going with her daughter to see Wicked. Then there were bigger dreams of opening a Champagne bar, traveling, seeing her grandchildren grow up and finding love again. It's so unfair. I'm so glad I got the chance to know her. Despite all the crap that went on at UW I was able to come away from there a better person and with many experiences and wonderful friendships. I'm thankful for our last lunch together and I'm glad that we picked champagne instead of plain old wine. Life's short so drink it up.

Happy 28th my love!!!

2007-07-02T22:15:00.000-07:00

This weekend was Stephen's birthday. The BIG 28! Friday I had planned to take him to Phlight for dinner and then to have drinks in Uptown. It didn't quite work out as I had planned. I had a hunch something was going to go wrong. Much like most of my ideas these days! My planets must be out of alignment. Saturday was his actual birthday. I got up early and made him french toast (yum) and gave him his presents. I got him a wallet, 2 gift cards, Guitar Hero (he loved it), golf balls and a bunch of other little goodies. Then he had to go to work which really sucked. Later we had a pirate themed party for him & Greg. It was nice and not so nice. I hope he had fun despite the not so nice aspects of the party. I did enjoy myself and the highlight was getting a ride on the back of his bro Larry's motorcycle. It was fun and I enjoyed speeding through East L.A. by motorcycle. Very cool! Stephen, his friend & myself closed the night with a few drinks in Uptown. I tried my best to make his day special and I hope it was. We did some more celebrating with his friends yesterday and there will be more celebrating to come when we finally get our date at Phlight. We have a break from parties for a few weeks. I can't wait for this weekend. Finally no obligations and sleeping in! Stephen's on a fishing trip for a few days and I'm alone with Sammy, a sink full of dishes and the ghosts. I miss him already. He left me a little note and he scribbled I love you. It gave me butterflies. Well I'm off to bed on the couch. Our bedroom is an oven! The heat is finally here!

Today's Lunch

2007-06-28T16:50:00.000-07:00

Today sucked bad. I'm exhausted, grumpy and ready to go home. I'm done with today!

A bunch of nothing

2007-06-26T14:04:00.000-07:00

The Weekend
Busy Busy Busy...Went to a show at The Galaxy on Friday with Stephen, his bros & his cousin. I forgot how much I hate General Admission. We got there early and I got a pretty good place by the stage. I eventually lost my spot up front due to a fight between a drunk 40-something and a Biker 4 Jesus. It was hot, stuffy and stinky. I made it through a one man band, a Christian rock band with a singer sporting a mamel toe (a man camel toe) and a sexy 50 year old dude playing guitar with his shirt off. Dude, I think 50 year old guys are hot! I am getting ooooold! LOL! The band we were there to see didn't go on until midnight and after their third song I couldn't handle it any longer. I retreated to a cozy table by the bar. Why didn't I think of that earlier? A show isn't as cool from afar. There's nothing better then getting up close and personal with the band. Unfortunately, four hours on my feet stuck between a bunch of sweaty dudes just wasn't cool. I had fun. I'm always up for an adventure.

Saturday was another Grad party and on Sunday I visited my old manager Rose who is suffering with pancreatic cancer. Rose is so amazing and inspiring and I am blown away by her strength. We went to lunch and had a huge bottle of champagne to celebrate my new job and of course to celebrate life. After two glasses I was seeing double and had to cut myself off. We gossiped about our old co-workers and chatted for hours about every thing under the sun. It was great. I'm going to try and plan a happy hour with the other girls soon. It's just so hard to get everyone together these days.

Swaps
I joined a few more swaps. I couldn't help myself. They're all pretty easy & don't require much money so it shouldn't be too much of a burden. I'll post pictures of what I'm sending soon. I've been so bad about taking pictures of swaps I receive and I promise to try and be better. One of my swaps is called CALLING ALL CRAFTING COMADRES,CHOLAS,FIRME HYNAS,RUCAS. I thought it was a fun idea and I think I have an idea of what I'm going to send...but I'll keep it a secret until I snap a photo. Some of the others are a Paper Art Doll Swap & A Bottle Cap Shrine swap. I can't wait to get to work on these. It's so much fun, but I seriously think someone needs to call a swap intervention!

Stephen's B-day!
This Saturday is Stephen's 28th birthday! We're having a little gathering over at his gramps on Saturday and I'm going to take him out on Friday. I love his birthday more then my own and hopefully I can make it extra special for him.

A Day in the Life
I posted some pictures I took today on my Flickr account. My camera is busted and I'm using Stephen's work camera which isn't so great. Check them out anyway and see some of the things I saw today. Check this out http://www.shakespeareinthecemetery.com/. I drive by here everyday & it's a pretty interesting spot. I love old Hollywood. I snapped some photos this morning and saw the banner. I want to go! Sounds strange & very cool.

I Believe in Ghosts!!!

2007-06-22T10:21:00.000-07:00

I am a swap addict! I keep telling myself that I need to cut down on swaps, especially with a new job that hogs most of my time these days. I just can't stop! I'm at least going to try and cut down on the swaps that require a trip to the post office. It's so addicting! I get sad when I don't have any swaps lined up. Nothing beats coming home to a swap package full of swappy goodness! I joined a easy swap called I Believe in Ghosts which requires me to write a letter to someone telling them about why I believe in ghosts. Lately some odd things have been going on in our little blue house so I thought this was an appropriate swap. Other then whats been going on in our house I have had two other "paranormal experiences" happen to me while staying in old hotels. I'll fill you in on those another time but let me tell you about the experiences going on in our home sweet home. The house we live in was built in the early 1920's and that's pretty much all I know of it's history. I love the house despite a few annoyances like the tiny bathroom and the non-existent counter space. The only thing creepy about it is the basement which I actually only peeked into. We moved in almost exactly one year ago and here are some of the things that have happened.

1. A few days after moving in I was taking a nap on the couch. I woke up because I felt someone touching my feet. I opened my eyes and saw what I thought was Stephen duck behind the couch and crawl into the computer room. I thought he was playing a joke on me and I was rather annoyed so I went back to sleep. When I woke up I looked for him and he wasn't there. He was still at work! Now this all could have been my imagination or a weird dream so I just brushed it off and didn't think much of it until other things started to happen.

2. On Thanksgiving I was on the couch and Stephen was in the shower. At the same time we both smelled an intense perfume smell. He thought I sprayed perfume under the door (why on earth would I do that!?) and I didn't know where it came from.

3. The trash can lid will swing on its own. Stephen saw it happen the first time and then one day I was cooking soup and I saw it with my own eyes. I thought that something at the top fell to the bottom to cause it to swing. I checked it and tried to find the cause. I couldn't recreate what happend except by pushing the lid. I stepped back and was looking at the trash can very confused and then it did it again!

4. I was in the kitchen and I felt as if someone was behind me. I figured that Stephen came in quietly to sneak up on me. I turned around and no one was there. It gave me the chills.

5. We hear steps on our porch quite often. I run to peek out the window to see who it is and no one is there. We thought it might be an animal or our imagination. I had a bunch of friends over for a party and we had the front door open. I heard the footsteps and several of the girls peeked outside to see who was coming up the steps. No one was there and this was witnessed by several people who knew nothing of these sounds.

6. Stephen was leaving for work and when he walked through the kitchen he heard a women's voice whisper "Staaaaaaay". Now keep in mind that he is one of the most honest people I know and doesn't make up stories or invent things. At least the voice didn't say "Get Out!"

So there you go! You be the judge! I'm sure you skeptics can come up with some logical explanations. I'll update you if something else spooooky happens.

Blog-O-Line is back!!!

2007-06-20T13:24:00.000-07:00

Geez, it's been awhile! So much has happened and I have so much to share. First, and most importantly...after months of interviews and countless rejections I found a job. I'm working for a small non-profit in West Hollywood. I had several offers but I picked the one with the nicest people and highest salary. Unfortunately, it's the farthest from home and I get out at 6pm which stinks. I got home at 8pm one day! Arghhhh! I've been here two and a half weeks and I'm slowly adjusting to commuting and being a stressed out, working girl again. I must say that it feels good to be working. I do miss my daily errands and freedom. I don't miss being broke! I have a grown-up title and I'm in the field of my choice. I don't know if this is my dream job - probably not, but time will tell. I am thankful to not have to go on another interview or get anymore job hunting advice from friends and family. No offense to those of you who offered advice...but what I really needed in that situation was an ear, a hug and some real job leads! I'm thinking of writing an article about the experiences I had on this journey...some of the interviews were pretty humorous. Anyway, this job has been an adventure so far. Other then the traffic I think the only other things I dislike about my job is the parking garage (it smells like piss) and the bathroom (you need a key, only one toilet works and it's just nasty). So, there's a little bit about my job. I will tell you more details as soon as I'm settled and actually know what I'm doing. I just did a fun swap where I had to take random pictures with a disposable camera and send it to my swap partner. I had so much fun taking pictures throughout my day so I got an idea to take pictures of a day in the life (of me) and post them here...so keep checking in for that. I may do it tomorrow since most of my office is in NY this week. =) Other then the new job I've been busy with a thousand birthdays and graduations. I've been going going going! It's been crazy! Anyway, I'll try and get into the habit of posting daily or at the very least, weekly. Check in and say hello! Drop me a line and give this blog some love!

Quick note

2007-06-03T17:56:00.000-07:00

As soon as my life became filled with a gazillion things to blog about...my computer broke...I'm lost without a computer!!! Anyway, I'm using a friends to say that as soon as things slow down and I get a computer I will write and fill you all in.

Hugs,
Caroline

P.S. Stephen says Hi...

2nd Annual Easter Egg Coloring Party

2007-04-08T23:36:00.000-07:00

This year we celebrated at Greg and Jenn's new pad. We BBQed delsih hamburgers provided by moi, but cooked to perfection by The Gregmeister. I brought yummy Easter Bunny cupcakes (I, along with all the hipsters have a serious cupcake addiction...except I loved them before they were cool!). Jenn provided the eggs and the dye. I bought this really cool Easter egg bug kit at last year's after Easter sale at Target (note to self: GO TO TARGET TOMORROW - early!!!). The bug eggs were adorable. I actually got Stephen to create one before he snuck off with Greg to have a "jam session". His was the best! I think our eggs really fit our personalities! Greg also made his 2nd annual cartoon egg. He's getting good at this! It was Stewie from Family Guy. Check out last year's post to see our creations. I can't believe it's already been a year! Today was a lazy Easter day spent with my lovie. We slept in, ate a greasy Mexican brunch at Taco Shack, made an attempt at the movies but ended up vegging out in front of the tube. I watched a whole season of last season's America's Top Model while Stephen surfed the net. The Easter Bunny spoiled Stephen! He got a tiny basket stuffed with goodies, a kite (the kite was really for me!) and a very special surprise from the Easter Carrie. He really deserved something nice - he's been so patient and wonderful. The Bunny brought me Dippin Dots and a basket full of love and hope. Just what I needed.

Happy Easter

2007-04-06T10:23:00.000-07:00

I've been meaning to add a post all week but I got lazy! I had such a fun weekend, hanging out with my love and I had planned on writing all about our adventures. Oh well...I added a few pictures of my weekend to my Flickr account for your enjoyment. This weekend is Easter...Wow, my blog is almost a year old already! I have successfully documented the hardest year in my life. I'm hoping that this year my blog is full of hope, creativety and adventure.

Tonight is The 2nd Annual Easter Egg Coloring Fest with Jenn & Greg. Easter wouldn't be Easter without coloring eggs.

Here is what I hope the Easter Bunny will bring.

1. A new job...that I love
2. A porch swing

3. These Uggs

4. A fab pair of jeans

5. THIS

6. A dishwasher (I have a sink full)

5. A bathtub

6. THEM

7. HIM

8. A cupcake from here

9. Xanax

10. Inspiration

Let me off! NOW!

2007-03-29T17:04:00.000-07:00

I've been riding a roller coaster for the last six months and I'm ready to hop off! Mostly I've been headed downhill, full speed ahead, through a dark tunnel, white knuckling it the whole way. Throughout the ride I lost creativity, self confidence and worst of all, hope. Slowly, I'm trying to find myself again. I'm going to get off this ride - I am determined to do it. I am fearless and ready. Here goes everything!

In search of myself and all that I've lost, I have decided to get crafty again. I went to Michael's today and bought some supplies to make a wish book. I'm going to create pages of what I wish for in my life. If I make it, IT will come. I'll post photos along this creative journey.

So far, 30 has been great. OK, so the whole not having a job thing stinks...but otherwise I am exactly where I imagined myself to be at 30. Sure, I want marriage, babies & owning a house would be icing on the cake - but I never needed all of that by 30 years and 9 days. Things will come together and I want to cherish everyday and love myself the way I am right now, this very second. I don't want to hate myself because I feel the pressure of everyone's expectations for me. Marriage and babies will come soon. I have been inspired by several women who have waited until their 30s to start a family. For all of us, it is not because of circumstance that we waited. It is because of choice. I am proud of the choices I made. I waited for the right time and for the right person. Thank God, Hallelujah, Praise da Lord I didn't have a baby with the first (or second) guy to come around. I'd be on a whole different roller coaster if my life would have turned out that way. I'm happy, I love my guy more then I've loved anyone - ever. I'm happy that I waited. Check out this little bit of inspiration I found in this month's Glamour. I also found the picture of a really pretty ring. I'll post it up somewhere in the house just in case...just in case I get sick of waiting...hehe....

I added more pics to my Photo Album. Check out my swaps & a bunch of my random pictures. Taking pictures is relaxing. I am addicted to Steph's new camera. ssshhhhh - I've been sneakily using it. hehehehe...I've yet to add any of me at my birthday party. I just hate the way I looked that day! Couldn't someone have told me I desperately needed compact! Anyway, keep checking in. I prmise to "spice up" my blog. My poor blog is a snooze fest! I have a couple cool topics on the backburner. Less venting! I pinky promise!

I have my fingers crossed behind my back. ;-) hehehe...

The Orange Eating Bandit Strikes Again!

2007-03-28T23:46:00.000-07:00

The party is over!

2007-03-27T15:35:00.000-07:00

My week long 30th birthday celebration has finally come to an end. It ended on Saturday with a big celebration at Bar Celona in Pasadena with family and friends. It was good to see everyone I love together, eating, talking, laughing and having a good time. I got so many nice gifts but seeing everyone together was the best gift of them all. The restaurant was cool, the cake was delicious and the Sangria was to die for!!! My camera pooped out so I'm a little delayed on adding pictures to flickr. I borrowed two different cameras and I'm trying to get a hold of the memory sticks to make a slide show of the big bash. It was a fun party but it would have been even better if it wasn't MY party. I couldn't help stressing out that people weren't having a good time, that they had spent too much money on me or that I looked hideously fat & ugly. Not to mention that I feel as though I have a huge U on my chest for UNEMPLOYED and everyone can see it. I hate that I am so insecure right now. It's a combination of events over the last 6 months that has got me to this low point. I want the old me back! I know I'm somewhere under this blanket of self hate. I don't want to be like this, I really, really don't. Relying on someone else for survival is a really humbling experience...it's been tough but my family has been there, and will continue to be there, loving me unconditionally... & for this I am most grateful. I hope things change soon - for your sake, my dear blog readers! The stress is zapping my fun & creativity. I'm losing it & I'm sorry.

Hello 30

2007-03-22T10:57:00.000-07:00

I'm officially 30. I don't feel older - maybe just a little more depressed about my failure to find a job. At 29, being unemployed sucked, but at 30, it's pathetic! Yesterday was a nice break from job hunting & all the stress that comes along with it. I have to admit that I did send out 1 resume even though I promised myself I would stay off the job sites. I couldn't help myself! I had a nice lunch with Billy, did a little Target shopping and had dinner at Benihana with Stephen & some of his family. I always over eat there! I couldn't even finish my green tea ice cream because my stomach felt like it was going to explode! I'm still recovering from that meal today! It was goooooooooood! I have been pampered by friends and family and my real party isn't until Saturday! I feel so loved! Stephen bought me a gift certificate to the salon across the street so I am getting "made over" this afternoon. I'm also thankful to all the people who told me the 30s have been (or were) their best years. I am looking forward to all the adventures yet to come. 30s be good to me!

Goodbye 20s!!!

2007-03-20T10:29:00.000-07:00

In less then 24 hours I turn the BIG 3-0!!! Today is the last day of my 20s! Now it's really hitting me! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!! Saturday marked the beginning of the week long celebration. Stephen's family had a bbq and b-day celebration for his cousin, sister and myself. There was delicious food and I got to hit a pinata the first time since I was a kid. It was so much fun. They are so sweet to me. I got so many really nice cards and gifts. On Sunday I went to Disneyland with my mom & my niece, Lisa. I got them up early so we could make it there in time for a Mickey Mouse waffle. Soooo good! I had a really nice day with them. Tomorrow (my real birthday) it's supposed to rain. My luck! I'll probably go out to a nice dinner with Stephen and then on Saturday I will celebrate with my family & closest friends (wish you could be there becs!)! Yeah! All this celebrating has caused me to stop my weigh loss success - I guess it doesn't matter since (still) no one has noticed the 13 pound loss! This afternoon I'm going shopping with Jenn to find something to wear for my party. I'm excited! I haven't been to the mall & shopped for myself in ages! I'm usually a (lazy & cheap) Target shopper. I buy everything from Target. I love that place! I got a Target gift certificate from Stephen's aunt for my birthday & I spent it yesterday. I bought a new curling iron, alphabet stamps, and some necessities. I have five dollars left to spend so I am probably going to head back there this afternoon for razors - which I forgot...In other news, no word from the job - or any job for that matter. Very frustrating...but I'm going to put the search (& all the stress that comes with it) on the back burner. Tomorrow I vow not to open up Monster or Craigslist and I will not keeping checking my phone for messages. I'm going to forget about all the bad things - at least until Thursday rolls around.

Good Luck

2007-03-16T11:39:00.000-07:00

I have slacked on the blogging this week. I really haven't had anything interesting to report. On Tuesday, I had a test for a job I interviewed for last week. I'm waiting (not so) patiently to see if I make it to stage 3 of the interview process. The test was very difficult - well the computer part was easy, but they gave me a grammar test and I'm embarrassed to say, I probably only got half correct at best. I'm so frustrated with myself! I either ace the interview but fail the test or I score high on a test and blow the interview. Some of the tests I've taken for administrative jobs are quite difficult. How does anyone pass these things & get hired? I know a lot of college educated people who would fail miserably. The only thing keeping me from having a breakdown is that I have this strange gut feeling that (soon) something is going to happen that will change my life. A good thing...I feel lucky, excited and I've had stomach butterflies all week. I hope it's the job - I really need this job! Hopefully the butterflies are not a result of the anxiety I'm feeling about turning 30 in less then a week! My family & Stephen is throwing me a little luncheon at a place in Pasadena next weekend. I'm half excited half dreading it. I had a dream that there was a microphone set up at the party and people got up to do a roast and said really humiliating things about me not being able to find a job. It was awful. Being unemployed is killing whatever little bit of self esteem I had! I went biking with Stephen on Tuesday and I made in up Turnbull without getting off my bike to rest. It made me feel really good for the first time in months. It was the first goal I accomplished in such a long time. It was a stress reliever and a temporary ego boost. Plus it was good to be outdoors with my honey. Anyway friends, I wish you a Happy St. Patty's! I'll be at the lake with Stephen & his familia tomorrow. xoxo

Self Portraits

2007-03-12T16:08:00.000-07:00

junk as far as the eye can see

2007-03-11T20:38:00.000-07:00

Today felt like the endless day. Stephen woke me up this morning because Gregifer invited us to tag along with them at the Santa Fe Springs Swap Meet. I resisted at first only because I had been then once before and it was a miserable experience. I remember it being hotter then hell & full of cholos. It was exactly as I remembered. Today was the hottest winter day I can ever remember and the swap meet was ghetto in all it's glory. Veteranos in wheelchairs, teen moms, crowds and the sweltering heat. I did manage to find a cute butterfly for the garden - full of lead paint but it's very pretty nonetheless. I was hoping that I could find some craft supplies in all the bins of junk but no luck. There was so much to see - aisles and aisles of stuff, Mexican music blasting and the glorious smell of fried tortillas - my senses were on overload. You can find a little mix of everything there. Tupac blankets, granny panties, knock off purses, Mexican candy, birds, tools, samurai swords, used baby furniture, coffins and you can even get a massage! After buying some useless items and feeling tired and dehydrated we made our way back to car. We did some more shopping on the way home - Greg & Jenn bought some furniture for their new pad and we stopped for a much needed Starbucks. My new fave drink is Passion Tea Lemonade - two pumps melon , one pump raspberry - Refreshing - you must try! We came back to our neck of the woods, did a little relaxing and then went out for pizza. I messed up on the "non-diet" a little but I'll be back on tomorrow - I want to lose 5 more before the BIG 3-0!!!. I just finished organizing the craft room and now I'm about to study for a test I'm taking on Tuesday for a job I really want. Phew - what a day! I hate Sundays - even worse now that I'm not working. It's the realization that another week is coming and I still don't have anything lined up - plus another endless week of job hunting is ahead. It's really draining...but I'm going to go into this week with a good attitude and maybe I can make something happen.

Still not a winner

2007-03-07T16:31:00.000-08:00

I didn't win the MEGA Millions - I didn't match a single number! However, I did land a really promising interview with a huge corporation run by a mouse who wears red shorts. I probably wouldn't have got the interview but a previous employer has a connection to the recruiter and that got her attention. Lucky break, I guess. Now if only I can land the job. I have a couple of other interviews on the horizon and I'm determined to get hired somewhere soon.

I finished my fairy doll for the Fairy Bower Doll & Matchbox Swap. She's no dainty fairy! She's a short, husky, flamboyant sprite & she's got a head or fiery hair. I had so much fun making her. I used polymer clay, paint, fabric, buttons, and yarn. The other part of the swap is to decorate a little matchbox and fill it with fairy items. I filled hers with flowers, lady bugs, butterflies, shells, stars, animals & other cute little embellishments. This has been one of my favorite swaps! I'm mailing her tomorrow and I'll be sad to see her go...but she's going to a good home.

Check my photo album - I've added some random pictures and one of my empty garden. I created a small fenced in garden in our little side yard. I planted seeds last week and I'll be taking photos of the progress. Hopefully something other then clovers and dandelions will grow on that side of the house.

Travel Bugs & jackpots

2007-03-06T13:57:00.000-08:00

Look at where my travel bugs have been! Punky is on a group tour in chilly Michigan, Blues is in New Zealand at Waikawa Beach and Miss Travel Bunny finally got picked up this week and will be on her way very soon. One of my other TB's is still waiting to be picked up in a cold & lonely cache in Whittier and the other has gone missing - I'm guessing stolen and given to some newbie geocacher's kid! These little toys are jet-setting around the world while the original jet-set chick is dying for an adventure of her own! It's been almost two years since my last really big adventure. I'm yearning for a change of scenery...but I'm stuck here until I FINALLY land a job and earn some vacation. Hopefully I'll win the huge MEGA Millions jackpot tonight and then I'll be free of job hunting forever! I have a bunch of old lottery tickets sitting here that I'm not ready to check. I hate finding out I'm not a winner...I like to imagine I have the winning ticket in my grasp. It gives me something to think about when I can't sleep. I like to imagine what I'd do with the money...but for the time being a new job would feel just as good as winning a huge jackpot.

Venting, Bunnies, Coins & Swaps

2007-02-24T11:42:00.000-08:00

I'm feeling better today then yesterday. The job hunt in really draining...I know people want to be helpful but I wish people would stop saying "keep trying" or "apply here" and "you need to do this", etc. Then there's the other group of people who say "you're so lucky to be off work", "the job you didn't get was meant to be" & "enjoy your vacation". I know people are just trying be helpful...but it doesn't help...it only makes things harder. People don't realize how hard I'm trying and how horrible I feel. I got turned down for a four week temp job! How humiliating is that?!?! The only reason I went to the damn temp agency is because of someone told me that it's sooooo easy to get a job through them. I called three temp agencies on Friday & none of them were of any help. I've never felt so desperate. Anyway, today I'm feeling more hopeful but it's up & down.

Yesterday I received a lovely package from my Swap Angel Melissa. It was a nice surprise! I never received my Valentine's Day Swap & she was so sweet to fill in for my flaky partner. I ate the chocolate before I had a chance to snap a photo. I really needed some chocolate yesterday! =) I finished my Latin Matchbox Shrines during the week. I'm pretty happy with how they turned out. The swap deadline is a few weeks away but I had the urge to be crafty. I hope my partners like them. My camera battery was dying so the pictures don't due them justice. I can't wait to send them. I also snapped the pictures above of some of my Easter decorations. Again, the picture doesn't due them justice. I'm loving Easter now that I've rediscovered the cuteness of Easter decorations. I'm even appreciating pastels! I have an small egg collection that I still have to display. I'm tempted to join the Bunny Swap on Swap-bot but I think I may be overextending myself already. I also took a photo of some Geocoins I discovered this morning. I made a quick travel bug drop at a local cache & I picked these up. I'm loving coins these days! If you don't know about Geocaching, Geocoins or Travel Bugs yet...do some research & click these links. It's a great hobby...well if you like the outdoors and treasure hunts. =)

Disappearing

2007-02-23T12:04:00.000-08:00

I don't feel like writing and I don't feel like explaining why...I feel like Meridith from Grey's Anatomy...I feel like disappearing...I want to be invisible...I wish I had a bathtub to disappear into.

Happy Birthday Sammy!

2007-02-19T11:59:00.000-08:00

Yesterday we celebrated Sammy's 20th birthday. My parents, Billy & Sylvia came over to experience the unusual event. I made a tri-tip, salad, corn and Sylvia made yummy potato salad. I was going to make a cake but I got lazy and bought one from Albertson's - it did the trick. I bought a few decorations from Dollar Tree and made Sammy a little Fancy Feast cake to make it even more special. Of course the party was really more for me then it was for her. She could care less! She did enjoy her cake & she loves company. It was a ridiculous idea like all my others...but it was lots of fun. Happy 20th Birthday Sammy!

I joined a couple of new swaps on swap-bot. I have swapping fever! I am just about to send out my flat goodies swap & I'll put my Born in 1977 swap together as soon as I get my partners info and find out a little more about her. I recently joined a swap called Latin Matchbox Shrine and I found an unusual swap where we have to make a little fairy doll. I think I am going to stick to crafting swaps for the time being. They require little or no money except for postage. I got stiffed on the Valentine's Swap. It was only my second time dealing with a non sender...It sucks but someone ( a swap angel) has kindly offered to send me a package. Isn't that sweet?

Job hunt update: I am waiting to hear back from the temp agency about starting a job this week or next. Today is a holiday so I have to wait until tomorrow to get the full details. Cross your fingers for me. Right now any job will be the best job! The pressure to find something gets worse everyday and I am suffering from insomnia & when I finally get to sleep I have nightmares. Last night I dreamt that the lady from a job I applied to called me and said that they wanted to hire me without even meeting me first! I was so happy! Waking up and realizing it was all a dream became the nightmare!

Grrrrrr!

2007-02-18T21:17:00.000-08:00

People need to think before they speak. Words can hurt and although it's easy for me to forgive...my memory is good and I hardly ever forget.

Sux in the City

2007-02-16T14:36:00.000-08:00

I've been running around like a crazy woman all morning! Out of desperation I decided to interview with a temporary agency in downtown L.A. I left extra early but it took me about 2 hours to get there. Mainly because of the horrible directions and the one way streets. The numbers on the building were hard to read so I kept having to circle around over & over! I was told to park in a lot called Joe's Garage...well I came to find out that there are numerous Joe's Garage parking lots all over the city! There was construction, crazy people and about a zillion cars honking their horns. I felt like I was in NYC! I've been to downtown many times but things must have changed since then. I don't remember the hustle and bustle. Today was an adventure to say the least! Culture shock BIG TIME...and I thought I was so worldly! ha ha! The interview was on the 26th floor of an office building with an amazing view of the city. I tested horribly...I'm retarded when it comes to timed computer tests. Timed test make me so nervous! Anyway, my resume and interview overshadowed the mediocre test scores. Now I just sit back and wait for them to find me something. I applied to 8 places yesterday and I'm hopeful I get at least one interview. I had applied to this great community arts organization awhile back even though I knew I was under qualified for the position. To my surprise the hiring manager liked my resume and e-mailed me yesterday to let me know that a position opened up that I may be interested in. I immediately applied and I'm waiting on pins and needles for a call from her. I also saw an ad online that my old boss had posted for a position at her new organization. I e-mailed her to ask more about the position and inquire about applying and she never wrote back. I'm kind of annoyed because she never wrote the recommendation she promised either. It kind of sucks because I stuck up for her after she was let go. Infact, her being fired is part of the reason I left! Oh well.

An update on the Caroline's turning the BIG 3-0 saga...My family wants to throw me a party! I'm a little excited...just a little. It's tentatively set for the Saturday following my birthday at a tapas bar in Pasadena. I think I can invite 30 people give or take. Icing on the cake would be to get the #1 present on my wish list - that would be the BEST birthday ever...but you know how my luck is. It stinks!

Cabin Fever

2007-02-15T13:24:00.000-08:00

Valentine's dinner was a success! I made filet mignon with mushrooms, scallions and a teriyaki glaze, salad, bread, baked potatoes and for dessert a fruit tart & fresh raspberries and cream. It was delicious if I must say so myself! ;-) Stephen gave me the most beautiful roses! They are my most favorite kind of roses with orange & peach hues...Today is a beautiful day and I hate to spend it cooped up inside washing last night's dishes and pulling my hair out while job searching. I am going to spend an hour on business before taking a walk or a drive. I have to get out of here before I get cabin fever.

Happy Valentine's Day

2007-02-14T15:39:00.000-08:00

I am really looking forward to dinner with Stephen tonight. I have everything prepared to begin my Valentine's cooking adventure...hopefully it's not a disaster! I made a healthy dessert but I couldn't resist buying a fruit tart from Churrolandia Bakery and Funnel Cake Factory. At least it's trans-fat free. Who cares about counting calories today anyway! It's Valentine's!!! I am going to eat my meat, potatoes & double desserts (mostly) guilt free. Anyway, check out the pictures of the table-scape I created on zero budget. I guess it's not that bad considering I used things I already had. It will look even better in candlelight. Very romantic! I hope Stephen likes the surprise.

Monday Monday

2007-02-12T12:58:00.000-08:00

The weekend flew by and I felt like I hardly got to spend any of it with Stephen. I have some Valentine's surprises in the works that I hope he'll enjoy. I have decided to cook an elegant dinner at home. It's so much more romantic then dealing with the annoying V-Day crowds. I have the menu mostly planned out but I'm still trying to come up with a delicious, yet healthy dessert. I'm really excited! I've never been a big fan of "the day" but I do have a soft spot for the adorable cards, sweets and decorations. Having dinner here will give me a chance to be creative and try something a little different. Our first Valentine's Day was the best! We had a picnic in Laguna followed by an afternoon at Disneyland! I still have the big brown bear Stephen gave me. I'll never forget peeking out my window and seeing him get out of his car with the huge bear and a rose. It was so cute and the first time anyone had every done something like that for me. I'm getting butterflies just thinking about it!

I didn't think my poor Sammy was going to make it through the weekend! She got really sick on Friday. All weekend long she wouldn't eat, drink or meow. She looked awful and her eyes were sunken in. I gave her water through a syringe and kept an eye on her. She perked up a little yesterday afternoon but by this morning she was back! What a relief! I realize that she is very old and that she will die someday...I just don't know how I'm going to deal with it. She's been my best friend and given me unconditional love for 20 years. Losing that cat is a tough thing to imagine.

Auntie Pam's birthday party was on Saturday. It was fun hanging out with my family and making my mom take a Jell-O shot. I wish Stephen could have been there since it's only once in a blue moon my family has a shin-dig like that. The food was good and I even danced a bit after being forced on the dance floor by my Uncle Ralph. I'm a horrible dancer...but it was fun anyway. My mom introduced me to someone who I used to play with as a baby. She recently turned 30 so we commiserated about that for a bit. Then she started talking about her husband and three kids and then I felt like although we were the same age we were light years apart. I got that panicky feeling that I've been getting a lot lately...It's this nagging feeling inside telling me that I need to hurry...Ugh, I hate that feeling...it puts me in a bad mood. Most of my friends are married and the ones who are still single have fantastic careers. I feel like such a failure. I'm going to try and be patient, enjoy life and not rush...at least for a little while. I guess turning 30 is a bigger deal then I ever thought it would be! All these crazy things go through your mind. Just about everyone I know who has been there has told me that they felt the same way. I guess I'm not alone and you'll never understand unless you've been there...I wonder if it's any different for guys? As for my birthday, I am probably going to plan something for myself as usual. It's so hard for the event planner in me to lose control of MY event and so far no one has come up with any great ideas for me. I have a few ideas up my sleeve. I'm a little hesitant though because the last birthday dinner I planned ended up being a disaster and I ended up in tears by the end of the night. At least it was a memorable one! ha ha!

Fishies!!!

2007-02-08T13:19:00.000-08:00

After almost a year we finally got fish for our aquarium. We tried saltwater for a little bit but after our hitchhiking crab and baby Nemo died we were a little hesitant to try again. Stephen changed his mind about saltwater after remembering all the work that would go into maintaining it. Freshwater is still pretty cool. Stephen insisted on mean looking Chiclids. We got a blue, a yellow and a striped one that I picked out. He's feisty and has bright yellow fin. He kept taunting me through the glass so I had the fish guy pick him out of the bunch. He was a hard one to catch! They're pretty cool. I'll take pictures soon. In other fishy news, I think my Betta has seen better days. I think the cold weather really took a toll on him. I will be surprised if he lasts another week. Poor slimy little thing!

I went to the gym with Jenn last night. I really wasn't feeling well mentally and physically...so it made for a horrible workout. I was there for about 45 minutes and although I did get my heart pumping I could have done better. We got there too late to get a SPINNING bike so we used the machines instead. The good thing about SPINNING or any class for that matter is that you're kind of locked in. You're forced to stick it out until the end. I can't seem to motivate myself to get to the gym daily. I was planning on going today but I'm already feeling lazy. At least the weekend hiking and Stephen and my nightly walks are keeping me active. Help! My motivation has disappeared!!! Hopefully I find it soon!

Here's another old school poem for your pleasure.

ME
You fairy tale princess, You movie star, You wild party girl, You weeping flower, You glass of champagne, You tortilla with butter, You shy tulip, You smiling baby doll, You dusty book, You love song, You quiet whisper, You beam of sunshine, You broken soul, You feather pillow, You headache, You beloved saint, You prude, You sexy siren, You cold shoulder, You hot salsa, You jet-setter, You homegirl, You forbidden fruit, You worshipped goddess, You dreamy child, You wilted rose, You autumn breeze, You worn out sweater, You charming angel. You.

P.S. There will be more to come. I'm working on a NEW poem and some new art...My motivation to work out has disappeared but my creativity has been found! Go figure!

Midweek Meltdown

2007-02-07T14:59:00.000-08:00

The job hunt is getting frustrating! I'm running out of options and I don't know what to do. Even jobs through the temp agency are hard to come by. I spend endless hours searching and applying for jobs and nothing comes from all my work. For every 20 resumes I send out I will get one call and not all of the calls I get result in an interview. I am continuing to think positive and keep my head up. I don't know how long I can keep being positive before I have a meltdown.

In other news I started a swap called Born in 1977. It's for all of us turning the BIG 3-0 this year. I talked to a few friends who are turning 30 this year and they are taking it much worse then me. I thought I'd start a swap to cheer up us oldies but goodies. Now lets see if anyone will join...or else I may be celebrating alone! As my birthday nears people keep asking what I'm going to do to celebrate and I have no idea!!! I don't really want a big party but at the same time I'd like to celebrate with my friends & family...I don't know what I want...Well maybe there is something I want for my birthday...I just feel that without a job I'm not deserving of much of a celebration. The real celebration will be when I find a job! I'm going to dance on tables! You're all invited to join me!

Check of the following story. Amazing!
Eternal Embrace

Losing Hope

2007-02-06T11:00:00.000-08:00

Today is the day that I will give up hope about getting the job I interviewed for on Friday. I know it's only been a few days, but if I lose all hope early, then I won't feel so bad when I get a rejection letter. I was trying to think up reasons why it's a good thing that I don't get the job and here are a few.

1. The boss mentioned rarely leaving for lunch because she was too busy (I hate lunches at my desk)
2. It's far
3. Protestors, who needs um?
4. Obviously they don't have air conditioning!
5. Working with donors again? What was I thinking!?
6. There isn't a Target close by
7. An office full of women...not again!
8. Too far to have lunch with my mom
9. Out of the way from my gym
10. Too close to a Del Taco - who can resist their fries?

Ok, I know I'm grasping at straws here...but it made me feel slightly better!

In other news...I lost another unofficial pound! I don't officially weigh in until Friday so I can't count it yet. I love this non-diet! I ate cake at Isabella's birthday party on Saturday and chips on Super Bowl Sunday and I still lost another pound! Moderation is they key...and lots of walking! I am almost halfway to my March goal! I can't wait until someone (who dosen't read this blog) actually notices my weight loss! No one has mentioned a thing and I'm beginning to worry that there has been a scale malfunction!

Someone give me some Xanax pleeeeeease!!!

2007-02-02T17:00:00.000-08:00

I'm back from the interview...I guess the Ugly Betty confidence boost didn't work. If I got this position it would be a miracle!!! I could just kick myself! I looked professional, my resume and qualifications were a perfect match and I even came with a glowing recommendation. None of that changed the fact the I am a complete idiot! The conference room was stuffy and it caused me to begin to panic. I felt like I couldn't breath and my mouth got dry. My mouth was so parched that I felt like I was unable to talk. I felt inarticulate and jittery...I just couldn't seem to get the right words out. I oozed "mental patient escapee". They probably think I am a complete buffoon! How could I mess up such a sure thing!? One of the people interviewing me was an artist too and another used to live in Whittier. It could have been perfect! Arghhh, I'm so angry at myself! I want to crawl under a rock and die a horrible death...I did the best I could to make things better by writing a thank you e-mail...Hopefully it will erase my stupidity from their mind!

Here goes nothing!!!

2007-02-02T13:31:00.000-08:00

I'm heading out for an interview...Like Betty says...

"I am an attractive, confident, business woman!"

Haircut Torture

2007-01-31T15:37:00.000-08:00

Last night Jenn & I went SPINNING...The first time since last fall! It was hard and our instructor wasn't even that tough...Oh well, we did good for it being our first day back on the saddle. So far, I've lost about 7 pounds. It doesn't really show but I'm feeling skinnier! My tight jeans are only moderately tight but the real proof is that I got whistled at today! First time in a very, very long time. Ok, so it was a stoned Whittier College student...but it still counts! Maybe it was my cute new haircut! I finally cut my medusa mop! I couldn't take it anymore! I HATE getting my haircut & I usually do it every 6 months because I hate it so much. I'd (almost) rather have a pap smear then a haircut! I don't know what it is about someone messing with my hair that I despise!...Maybe it stems from a bad haircut during my childhood? I had many! Like my Dorothy Hammill rice bowl and my feathered mullet. Maybe it's because I hate making conversation with the stylist? I'm not really sure. I love manicures, pedicures & massages...but the haircut is absolute torture! Anyway, I'm glad I finally did it.

P.S. Cross your fingers! I have an interview tomorrow, Friday & Monday!

Attack of the Blog!

2007-01-31T13:50:00.000-08:00

I'm A Poet (Didn't Know It)

2007-01-30T10:20:00.000-08:00

While looking for one of my old resumes I came across a disc of old poetry from a creative writing class I took at Saddleback College...The instructor wasn't a big fan of my short stories and screenplay but he loved the poetry...I'll try to post one poem from my old school collection here weekly and maybe I'll attempt to write something new - that would be interesting!!!...When I read some of what I wrote back then it makes me sad, a little nostalgic and very proud of who I am today...The poems pretty much sum up my early 20's & make me relieved to have survived them with most of my sanity still intact. The following is a poem I wrote about a day I will never forget. The assignment was to write a poem about a journey. It's what inspired the title of this blog.

Le Chemin de Vie (The Road of Life)
For Crystal

When you’re old and wrinkled
When life’s mysteries have passed you by
Will you remember that windy afternoon in Cannes
When we hastily packed our bags and left

I, the navigator
You, behind the wheel
Both too young and too naïve.
The smell of lavender creeping through
Open windows

Feeling a little like best friends
Feeling a lot like strangers
We sat side by side and
Spoke of our lives, loves and
Destinations to come

Another bug smacking the windshield as
We continued on towards Paris.

Zoo Day

2007-01-29T19:33:00.000-08:00

I spent a nice day at the L.A. Zoo with Kristie and Izzy. I hadn't been there in many, many years and it brought back fond memories...especially the flamingo and the wax animal statues. There is quite a bit of construction going on & not many of the animals were out but it was empty & we had the place to ourselves which was really nice. The zoos here are definitely not as cool as the one I went to in Sydney! In Australia you can touch the koalas and feed the kangaroos and the fences are knee high. The animals have much more freedom to roam. I loved that zoo in Sydney...I felt like the biggest kid and I didn't want to leave. It was so much fun! The animals I saw yesterday looked kind of sad. I even saw a poor croc with pennies on his back! The new construction at the L.A. Zoo will make the animal habitats more spacious and I can't wait to return and see the progress...Izzy is such a ball of energy...it's good exercise chasing after her. I loved seeing the animals through her eyes.

Vasquez Rocks

2007-01-28T11:15:00.000-08:00

Yesterday was spent exploring Vasquez Rocks with Stephen, Greg & Jenn. We found 10 caches and I hid my fourth. Vasquez Rocks is amazing...we got quite a workout hiking and rock climbing. I'm really enjoying our weekend adventures and looking forward to more. Stephen bought an awesome new camera that I'm hoping he'll put down so I can use...his pictures are much sharper but here is one of the best I took with mine.

Loner Day 2

2007-01-26T17:47:00.000-08:00

Tried solo caching again yesterday. I found 4 caches! I was proud of myself. It was nice to be alone in nature. A little sun, fresh air & some exercise does wonders for the soul! Stephen doesn't think I should hike alone & he's probably right. People can't be trusted...it's scary and very sad. Forget snakes & mountain lions...people are the real evil! Anyway, it was a nice day spent alone.

Loner

2007-01-24T16:04:00.000-08:00

I spent the day with myself attemping to geocache...well it didn't quite work out. There were too many people out & probably wondering what I was doing in the ivy. I wasn't very stealth & not interested in sticking my head under bushes. I thought I'd make one more try at a quick cache off a nearby road...well detectives were out because they had just found the body of a missing woman...guess it just wasn't my day...I'll try solo-caching again sometime this week.

National Pie Day!!!

2007-01-23T18:54:00.001-08:00

In honor of the day I have added a link to my favorite pie recipe. Note: A frozen crust works just as well & is half the work! ;-)
George's Blueberry Pie

a bump in the road

2007-01-22T12:34:00.000-08:00

It's Monday and I'm feeling a little blue because I found out this morning that I didn't get the job I interviewed for last week. I thought I had a good chance because the ED said he liked me, he interviewed me for over an hour and even gave me a tour following my interview. In my experience, a tour of the office following an interview means - you're in! Oh well...I kind of lost hope after not hearing back from them by Friday so it wasn't a complete shock. I didn't even want the job that bad so I guess it's for the best. It's still hard to be rejected over & over for months on end...Stephen & our families have been really supportive and everyone is doing the best they can to keep me positive and help me find something. I love you all!

Sammy got sick this weekend and thanks to a short vet stay she is almost back to her old self. She was following me around the house and crying out for help...my poor baby! I think it may have been a UTI but I'll get the results today. The fluids and antibiotics seemed to have done the trick. Unfortunately, we missed out on going to the mountains because of her illness. I am trying to think of something nice to do for Stephen to make it up to him but until then I'm going to make him a nice dinner tonight - I'm thinking chicken tacos or tostadas. Well I'm off to my desperate housewife duties...xoxo

Matchbox Swap

2007-01-18T12:55:00.000-08:00

Matchbox from Amy

I just wanted to share some photos of the first matchbox I received as part of Swap-bot's Valentine's Day Matchbox Swap. It was sent by Amy from Lompoc. I just love it! The little box contained so many cute little embellishments that I can incorporate into my art or scrapbooks. Hopefully I'll get over my artist's block soon and get creative! I am just about ready to mail out my matchboxes. I'm done with the one above and I have a few final touches to make to the second one. One is headed across the country and the other across the Atlantic! I love this theme!

Happy Birthday Dwid!

2007-01-18T12:19:00.000-08:00

Yesterday was my dad's 60th birthday. We celebrated at Ruth's Chris Steakhouse over the weekend and yesterday we continued the celebration with dinner at Macaroni Grill and this lovely cake from French's Bakery. French's is the best! When I walk in there I'm like a wild animal, drooling, sniffing and growling! It's an overload for the senses! All the cookies, breads, tarts, cakes, muffins, pastries and not to mention strawberry wagon wheels! It can make a person go mad...Especially a person who is trying to lose some extra lbs before her birthday! Anyway, despite not eating bread and ordering wheat pasta, I may have gone off my diet just a tiny bit yesterday...but it was my dad's birthday and a big one at that! Well worth celebrating! Happy Birthday Dad! I love you! (I'll repent for my sins at the gym later today.)

Night Owl

2007-01-17T00:05:00.000-08:00

at 1AM!
at 1AM!

I can't sleep! It's 1am & I am wide awake...I've been trying to pass the time by surfing MySpace, pimping my page and leaving funny pics on friends pages...I found a cool site with a bunch of funny little sayings and pictures hence the cool little "blog bling" above. I'm definitely 13 going on 30! In less then 3 months it will be 30 going on 13! Boo Hoo! Maybe I'm not all the thrilled about the BIG 3-0 after all...Mixed emotions I guess. I have a lot on my mind tonight...Birthdays, job interviews, diets, money & major decisions to be made in the next few months. Not to mention I'm wired on adrenaline, diet coke and still going full speed from Day 2 at the gym. Yes, Day 2!!! Congratulations are in order! Anyway, nights are the pits! It's lonely when you're up alone at this time of night...The life of a worrying insomniac. I remember my dad not sleeping well and staying up late watching old movies on TV. I would wake up and watch them with him until we both got sleepy. He called me a night owl...If only this night owl can finally get a little sleep before the Early Bird rises and wants Fancy Feast!

Stop! Thief!

2007-01-11T16:56:00.000-08:00

Last night at about 11:30pm I went to check to make sure our front door was locked before going to bed. For some odd reason I peeked out the window in the door and what do I see??? A burglar (sporting a black mask) stealing oranges from our tree! I was in shock! I called Stephen over to take a look. We stared at him in disbelief for a few seconds before the thief spied us catching him in the act. He made eye contact with us for a few seconds before stealthily escaping into the night. We tried to snap a picture of the sneaky orange thief but he was just too quick! To see what he looked like click here.

Welcome 2007!

2007-01-10T16:09:00.000-08:00

I'm back! One of my new years resolutions is to restart my "Blog-o-line"...so here I am ready to fill you in on the exciting (and not so exciting) things in my life. The latter half of 2006 was rough and 2007 seems to be better already. New Years was spent with Greg, Jenn & Sammy Cat in our cozy little blue house. We had pizza & booze but we were all duds & ended up asleep just minutes after ringing in the new year. Greg got a GPS for Christmas so we spent New Years day at Silverwood Lake doing some Geocaching. Stephen and I hadn't been out caching in a few months and we've become addicted once again. We're constantly on the look for a perfect hiding spot and paranoid that "muggles" are spying on us. ;-) My travel bugs are finally on their way and I hid cache number two. It's so much fun! I'm hoping to start biking & SPINNING this week. I'm finally feeling upbeat & motivated to nurture my hobbies again. The gray cloud of 2006 has lifted! I also joined two Valentine's Day Swaps...I'll post pics of what I'm sending soon.

I still haven’t found a job. I've been on interviews all week but no word as of today. I'm working really hard to stay positive...it's been really tough but I know that I'm trying really hard and putting in the effort. I'm optimistic that something creative and exciting will come my way soon. I'm so lucky to have a supportive and patient man in my life. I wouldn't have made it through this alone. I'm so lucky!

This is going to be an exciting year! I'm turning 30 in less then 3 months! Believe it or not I'm looking forward to my 30's. My 20's have been such a crazy roller coaster and I'm hoping 30 means stability, finally feeling like an adult (but not acting like one! ;-P), getting engaged, married & starting a little family of chubby mullet babies. I want that more then anything. My number one baby, Sammy is also welcoming a big birthday. The BIG 2-0! My little brown fuzzy old lady! I want to have a little party for her with El Pollo Loco (her favorite) and a cake made of Fancy Feast. How Fun!

I've learned from my mistakes, the world around me, the people I love and the many experiences (whether good or bad). I'm ready for all the adventures yet to come. No looking back...only forward. I'm welcoming 2007 with open arms, open eyes & an open mind...

The best is yet to come.

I'm back!

2006-11-16T11:33:00.000-08:00

I have been so out of touch lately my dear blog readers! Here's an update - Since I last wrote I left the museum job. It's awful to have to job hunt & interview all over again but the relief of not being there helps me through the stressful days. From day one I hated it & everyday I kept trying to convince myself that it really wasn't that bad. It sounded like the perfect job but I'm telling you...it was a nightmare! My boss was horrible & moody, her side-kick was nosy, demanding & annoying and other then maybe one or two people no one was kind or interested in getting to know me. Leaving there gave me time to have my surgery, recover & become my old self again. The past few months were hard for so many reasons but I am finally seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. I woke up a whole new woman today. I have an interview on Monday & hopefully I'll have a new job soon. Today will be my first day back at the gym since my surgery...my goal is to lose 20 pounds. The past few months have taken a toll on my health & creativity. I'm ready to do something about it. I am ready to start crafting again & I'm thinking about writing an article for a magazine...but one thing at a time. I'm off to the gym! =)

A-Z

2006-10-10T16:14:00.000-07:00

A - Available: No
A - Age: 29
A - Annoyance: Work

B - Best Friend: Stephen
B - Beer: I'll pass - me like girlie umbrella drinks
B - Birthday Month: March

C - Crush: Stephen
C - Car: Honda Civic
C - Candy: Milk chocolate with almonds

D - Day or night: Night
D - Dream Car: I am so out of touch when it comes to cool cars
D - Dog Or Cat: Sammy

E - Easiest person to talk to: Stephen
E - Eggs: scrambled
E - Email: I love it & can't live without it!

F - Favorite Month: October
F - Favorite color: green
F - Favorite Memory: Summers with Billy & the kids next door

G - Gummy Bears or Worms: Worms
G - Giver or taker: A lil bit of both
G - Gum: I'm a little sick of it at the moment...Diana gave us a brick of it & now I have lockjaw...he-he

H - Hair Color: brown
H - Height: 5'4
H - Happy: Trying to be - not easy at the present

I - Ice Cream: Chocolate Chip
I - Instrument: Recorder...he-he
I - Idol: mommysis

J - Jewelry: an engagement ring would be nice! =)
J - Job: I'm too pretty to work...he-he!!!!
J - Jail: Never been...hope to never go!

K - Kids: Yes! & Soon!
K - Kickboxing or Finger Painting: Finger Painting
K - Kisses or hugs: Both

L - Longest Car Ride: LA to NY
L - Longest relationship: 5 years
L - Last Kiss: This morning! =)

M - Milk flavor: Chocolate
M - Most missed person(s): Grandma
M - Movie Last Watched: Employee of the Month

N - Number of Siblings: 2
N - Number of Tattoos: 0
N - Nicknames: Caro, Pie, Carrow, Care

O - One wish: Health
O - One Phobia: Death
O - One regret: Not speaking up on certain occasions

P - Pet Peeves: Passive aggressive people & work
P - Part of your appearance you like best: hands
P - Part of your Personality you like best: my eccentricity

Q - Quick or Slow: Quick
Q - Queen or Princess: Princess
Q - Quail or Penguins: Penguins

R - Reason to smile: Stephen loves me
R - Reality TV Show: Project Runway
R - Reasons to cry: Fear

S - Song Last Heard: Gangsta Rap playing outside...I work in the ghetto.
S - Season: Fall
S - Shoe: Flip-flops!!!

T - Time you woke: 7:45am
T - Time Now: 4:34pm
T - Time for bed: 11:00pm

U - U love someone: yes
U - Unpredictable: Every once in a blue moon
U- Unforgettable person: Shea

V - Vegetable you hate: Celery & beets
V - Vacation spot: Hawaii
V - Valuable thing: Life

W- Worst Habits: worrying
W- Where are you going to travel next: The very exotic Harrahs Rincon
W- Weather right now: Cool & breezy

X - Last X: long time ago
X - Why is he/she an x?: young & dumb
X - Would you get back with your x? hell - no!!!

Y - Year you were born: 1977
Y - Year it is now: 2006
Y - Yellow: Always reminds me of Grandma

Z - Zoo Animal: Koala
Z - Zodiac: Aries
Z - Zodiac (Chinese): Snake

Caroline's Picks of the Week

2006-10-06T10:57:00.000-07:00

Pond's Cold Cream

Starbucks Maple Macchiato

Lipton Green Tea To Go Mandarin & Mango

Don't Worry...Be Happy

2006-10-06T10:39:00.000-07:00

When it rains it pours! Life is hard right now but I will only make myself sick by dwelling on the "what ifs". Instead I will take strength from Stephen (my rock) and those who love us.

My Poor Chi-Chi

2006-09-29T17:34:00.000-07:00

Looks like I'll be having surgery sometime this month or next...hopefully sooner then later. I had what I thought was a cyst in my breast. I ends up that the cyst is a large (most likely benign) tumor called a Fibroadenoma...I still have to meet with the surgeon one more time before scheduling the surgery. It's been a long two weeks worrying & not being able to sleep. I am sleeping a little better but I'm anxious to have this thing removed once & for all. I am so lucky to have such a supportive man in my life who has been there with me though all of it. I feel like the luckiest woman alive!!! He is the man I want to marry and start a family with. My hero!

33 Days until Halloween...

2006-09-27T16:26:00.000-07:00

Virtual Me

2006-09-26T17:43:00.000-07:00

Too much has gone on lately & (no offense to you my dear blog fans) I'm just too darn lazy to fill you all in. Things are good, bad and everything in between. I'm trying to get back in the blogging spirit. It's therapy! Keep checking in as I will try and update this thing several times a week...Check out this picture of my virtual self. An artist friend on MySpace created it...Do you think it looks like me??? I think a little - maybe...I'll be posting pictures of my current swaps & my cool Halloween finds this week. Fun fun fun!!! Come back soon & see!

Finally Friday!

2006-09-08T17:30:00.000-07:00

It was a short week that felt like an eternity...although it slowly continues to get better I'm still not happy with my position - I'm bored...but the museum is great...We took a tour of the gallery and the art was inspiring and beautiful...I just hate that some artists and art aficionados have egos...I took this one art history class and all I can remember is that the instructor was such an art snob. The curator here is amazingly knowledgable and I really admire her. I aspire to have a job like that...but I guess I need a masters or PhD and it's not going to happen...I want to get married and have kids (Soon! I'm almost the BIG 3-0!!! Yikes!). I'd give up going back to school for a family anyday...I've never wanted to be a career woman (yuk!) and to be honest I really hate working - well not working...I despise office jobs!!! (double yuk!)...I want to find my niche and create art & make money that way...One day!!! After seeing all the great pieces of art I am inspired! It's so hard to make significant time for myself, Stephen, family, friends, the gym, art and all my other loves with my schedule. I'm going to try though! I'm going to get off my butt & multi-task! Well enough writing for today...Everyone is gone so I think I'll leave a lil early too! =P

Crikey!

2006-09-06T10:23:00.000-07:00

Ugly

2006-08-25T12:03:00.000-07:00

It's Friday! I made it through week 2 at the new job! It's a short day since I will be leaving early to attend Stephen's nephew's wedding. I found a dress yesterday. It's not the cutest dress in the world...but it makes the boobs look good! It takes the emphasis off the tummy! =)
I think I can make it work. I'm going to try and get a haircut to make my hair look a little less like Medusa. I've been really down on my looks lately...I don't feel my usual HOT self! hahaha! I need a day to beautify myself. I need professional help! It's time for an extreme makeover!

A better day

2006-08-23T13:55:00.000-07:00

I'm feeling less blue today...no particular reason - I guess I'm tired of this gray cloud over my head and tired of looking back...so forward here I go!

The Blues

2006-08-21T11:37:00.000-07:00

I am so depressed & no matter what I do I still can't shake "The Blues". It's the start of week 2 at the new job & I've still had no formal training! It's frustrating just sitting here staring at a blank screen. The upstairs tenants are once again blaring the same Tupac song & I found out we're infested with cucarachas. I'm sorry to complain but it's better said here then to bombard unsuspecting listeners with my venting. You - my dear blog readers, come here with the purpose of hearing me vent. haha! I heard that we'll be working late hours which dosn't make any sense to me because I thought 6pm WAS late!!! It's Monday & I'm grumpy. I apologize.

In other news...my parent's semi-surpise anniversary party was a success! It was alot of work but it was well worth it. I hope they enjoyed it as much as I enjoyed planning it. They deserved something nice and I tried to make it as nice as I could on limited funds. My previous event experience has made me an expert on putting an event together with limited funds. I love the challenge!

Friday is Stephen's nephew's wedding and I need a dress. I'm still too fat for the teeny tiny green dress I bought so I have to buy something cheap & flattering...now that's a challenge! Weddings and trying to feel pretty in a dress is probably adding to my blues!

Where did my blog go?

2006-08-18T16:00:00.000-07:00

Oh My God! My last blog post dissapeared into blog limbo. I am so aggravated today you would think I was PMSing or something! Every little thing seems to be going wrong. It's one of those Murphy's Law days! I need to get out of this office before I go insane! My first week at the new job has seemed endless. Although I must say that everyday has been better than the last & I'm feeling a little more at home. I think I will be okay here...it's just going to take time to feel 100% comfortable. It's not a position I see myself in forever but it's my foot into the museum world. There's going to be ups & downs in the process of learning this new job but I'll be okay. I am glad that the week is winding down and I will literally jump for joy as soon as I am able to walk out of here. I am going to kick up my heels and sing The Smiths song that has been the soundtrack to my life this week:

I was looking for a job, and then I found a job
And heaven knows I'm miserable now
In my life Why do I give valuable time
To people who don't care if I live or die ?

Man, I am in serious need of some good news, a vacation or even a good belly laugh! Someone cheer me up! My rants must be depressing my loyal blog readers! Are there any of you out there? Hellooooooo??? Anyone out there???

Check out the picture above. It's by one of my MySpace artist buds. She is so awesome! It's me having one of my usual dreams/nightmares. =) I want the print!!! I am backed up of things I need to buy for myself. I'm deprived! One more week until payday & then I'll treat myself. =)

Day 3

2006-08-16T09:05:00.000-07:00

Today is Day 3 at the new job. I'm here 30 minutes early again despite stopping at Starbucks & the bank...Being here early makes the 9 hour day seem endless. Yesterday was a little better despite a rough morning. I'm hoping that today I get some work to do so I'm actually busy! Imagine me wanting to be busy at work! It's THAT boring! I am really missing my daily walks, long lunches & hanging with the girls at UW. I'm still very sad but there was just no going back...My life seems worlds away from what it was a month ago. It's so wierd...not bad...just different. It's hard accepting some of the changes...Life goes on & I'm adapting the best I can.

Things are good otherwise. Greg, Jenn & Diana were over last night. It was nice to have them over. I made Costco lasagne & we creeped eachother out by having a lovely conversation about dead bodies & morgues. haha! Luckily I avoided nightmares or atleast I can't remember having any.

Tonight I want to go home, take a shower, put on my PJs, eat cereal & watch TV with my honey pie. In just a little over 9 hours my dream will be reality! Yah!!!

New Job

2006-08-14T17:52:00.000-07:00

Today is my first day at the "new job". It's been long & stressful & I'm ready to go home...The hours stink. It's 5:45 & I'm still here! It's not all bad though...first days are always tough. It's lonely...I miss my girls at UW. I want to go home...

Changes

2006-07-25T15:34:00.000-07:00

Today has just been "one of those days"! I went to lunch with "a new old co-worker" (does that make sense???). My card got declined at lunch which was totally embarrassing! She had to pay for me! I KNOW there is $ in there but explaining to my friend and the waitress is pointless. You get that look of pity that is humiliating! I thought it was an error with their machine until my card got declined at the gas station & ATM! I made it all the way home from Santa Ana on fumes. Of course I hit every railroad crossing, red light & traffic jam on the way. My knuckles are still white! There is still no word on whether I got the job I've desperately been hoping for. They are making me jump through circus hoops! I had a phone interview, two face to face interviews, two tests and now they are requesting additional references other then the six I already gave them! They asked for a reference from a job I had in 1999! I could understand if this was an executive position! At this point I don't even want it but I will be forced to take it. Things would be so much easier if I was still working. I just couldn't stay at that hell hole for one more second! I can't even began to tell you what went on there. The place is a joke! I just can't understand how an organization claims to be "in the business of people" could be so heartless. Oh well...In a way I miss it there. Not the evil lady or the office politics...but my friends...and my daily routine. I'm in mourning. My life has changed so much in the last couple of months. I can't even keep up with all the change. I have to say that I love my new pad. It's happy & full of life. If this place is haunted it's haunted with peaceful, curious spirits. I love watering the grass in the afternoon & listening to the crickets at night. The other morning during the thunder storm I sat on the porch & enjoyed the view. It was so cool! This house called out to me because we were meant for it. We're happy here. I know we won't be here forever but I know there are many great things to come under it's roof. As promised I will update my Photo Album. Keep checking!

Heaven & Hell

2006-07-06T15:49:00.000-07:00

After six wonderful days off I'm back to my cubicle hell. I was at work for 20 minutes before I got blamed for something completely out of my control. People are stressed & playing the "blame game". I heard that a few were annoyed because I took 3 days vacation (which I earned). Then I found out via Post-It that my desk was being moved. No explanation just a Post-It saying that I needed to move my stuff ASAP to the cubicle they orginally moved me from 6 months ago! It's a punishment of some sort I suppose. I don't even know what I did. I'm so stressed and feeling like the shy 2nd grader I once was in mean ol' Mrs. Kitashima's class. She thought she was helping us by being mean. A second grader should not feel that much anxiety & fear. I feel picked on like that again only I should be old enough to handle it. I should be. I feel like a child because this place is run by childish people. Being told to move desks via Post-It! That is hilarious!

Despite work hell...Home is heaven. I love the new house. It's the next best thing to owning our own place. I did some gardening...it was wonderful. I forgot how good the smell of wet dirt is! I love it! I love all the birds and the crickets at night. Our apartment was so stale and silent. We need a couple pictures for the walls & maybe a bookcase for my "art room" but other then that we're set. Stephen is starting his mini reef tank. I'm looking forward to helping him pick out fish! Pretty ones! I'll post pictures soon. I took some great pictures on the 4th of July. Stephen & I had a romantic BBQ just the two of us. After dinner we hiked up to Turnbull to watch the fireworks. We could see fireworks as far as Catalina. It was so awesome. It was my best 4th of July ever...just me & my sweetie on top of the world. I'll post pictures when I get home...although I just feel like going home & hiding under my covers.
xoxo

Thank God It's Thursday!

2006-06-29T15:08:00.000-07:00

One more hour to go & then begins my six day vacation! I REALLY need it! I'm in limbo at work not knowing what my new position is or if I'm going to have a position at all! I've been sending out resumes galore but I haven't had one single call back! It's really depressing! In other news, I am loving the house & the neighborhood. The commute & the heat are miserable but temporary. I am a little bothered that the owner hasn't come back to put up our kitchen cupboard doors. I know he has a busy schedule but I'm getting frustrated with not being able to set up the kitchen properly. We're having guests tomorrow & it looks like a construction zone! Once it's all done I will finally be able to breathe a sigh of relief. I can't wait to finally be settled. This week we've been back at fourth from the apartment to the house. It's been exhausting. I'm running on empty...

I signed up for some really cool swaps. I will post pictures as soon as I get some free time at home to download them.

The above picture if of my favorite Australian characters. They make me smile! =)

Trapped in cubicle hell

2006-06-22T10:33:00.000-07:00

This is a picture of me in my cubicle. I want to get out of this job hell so bad but I can't seem to find anything that suits me. There has been some "restructuring" lately and I am currently without a boss for the 6th time in 3 years. My current position is completely changing. This morning one of the managers here said that I could easily move up if I became more assertive. In the same breath she said "stay true to who you are!" I am not meant for the back-stabbing office culture and I need to get out before I suffocate or become like them! I've spent a good portion of my life hating myself and trying to be like everyone else. Over the last couple of years I've come to realize that I like who I am and I am not going to change...even if that means never climbing to the top of the corporate ladder. I am who I am. If karma indeed exists then there is someone here with a big window office who is going to get hers.

In the midst of all the chaos at work we're moving. Yesterday I called in sick & painted the living room of the house. I guess karma must exist because my little white lie came true. I ended up horribly sick last night & this morning. I'm blaming it on the orange chicken from Panda Express I had for dinner! It's a small price I had to pay because the living room looks adorable! Stephen didn't like the pink so it's a lovely shade of green instead. I'm glad he likes the way it looks because I put all my heart into it for him. I could have lived with the pink! =) I'm really excited to move! We're still a little nervous & hoping that our huge furniture will fit. I bought Sammy a new bed and a sparkly red rhinestone collar with her initial. She actually dosn't mind it! I hope the move dosn't stress her out too much. I think she'll be happier there with her bed by a sunny window. I'm just worried that someone will break in & catnap her. She's the only thing irreplaceable. Stephen thinks I should make another tag saying that she's elderly & on medication so nobody will want to steal her. Yesterday while Jenn & I were painting two people knocked on the door (one selling something and the other trying to rent the place) & one creepy dude even walked through the open kitchen door & came in to ask us if he could get work painting the outside of the house! I noticed that many of the neighbors are home during the day so atleast I have some comfort in that.

Anyway, it's off to an extended lunch since I don't officially have a boss until next week! =)

Hooky Friday

2006-06-02T19:10:00.000-07:00

I played hooky today. I'll probably get crap for it next week but I don't care. I'm so annoyed with work. I don't feel like going into the details of why because typing the story again will just enrage me...but trust me there are some annoying things going on. I hope one of the jobs I've applied to calls soon. Anyway, Sammy had minor teeth surgery yesterday & she was still loopy and breathing oddly this morning so I decided to stay home with her to be safe. I was honest with work & I left a message telling them I was going to stay home to make sure my cat was alright. They probably think I'm a liar or a weirdo...I am a weirdo and proud and besides I don't care what anyone thinks anymore!

Other then work things are going well. We'll be moving soon and I'm a little stressed about all the details that go into moving. The little blue house is currently getting painted and new cupboards will be put in. It's going to look adorable! I can't wait to move out of this crappy apartment!

I added a few new pictures to my photo album link. Check it out. It's off to dinner now...I'm starving!

Monterey, swaps & the little blue house

2006-05-30T10:52:00.000-07:00

I have so much to write about! I don't even know where to start! Memorial weekend was so much fun! Stephen & I went to Monterey with my parents and stayed at a really nice hotel with a beautiful view of the bay. The McRaes and Anna met us on Sunday. It was so good to see them. Loretta is amazing! After a day of exploring we had a delicous dinner at Benihana. After dinner the guys, my mom & I took the Old Town Monterey Ghost Walk tour. The weather couldn't have been more perfect! I'll post pictures later today.

I received a lovely swap from Rosemary in Canada for my Arts & Scraps swap. I had many lovely comments from fellow swappers and I'm planning to host this one again soon.

The best news of all...the blue house is ours!!!...well sort of...we'll be working out a couple of kinks but hopefully we can move in later this month. I can't believe it! They had a lot of people interested and I'm not even quite sure how they remembered me! I'm so excited!

Well I must get back to work! I have so much to do!!!
xoxo

Lucky Penny

2006-05-23T15:30:00.000-07:00

I had the worst dreams last night. Violent, horrible dreams! It's hard to believe that my mind is demented enough to come up with dreams like that. It scared me so bad. I woke up in a cold sweat & was tempted to wake Stephen for comfort until I heard him snoring quite peacefully. Despite the horrible night I woke up in a good mood. Sammy didn't spit up her meds & I was running early enough to stop at Starbucks for a Green Tea Latte. I think I'm sick of them now. On my way out of Starbucks I picked up a good luck "heads up" penny. I thought of the little saying...

Find a penny, pick it up and all day long you'll have good luck!

My luck seemed to be going well. My latte didn't spill all over me & my car (like it normally does), my Incubus CD didn't skip (like it normally does), the weather was nice & the traffic was abnormally light. I came into work in a good mood & I prepared myself for more good luck to be showered upon me. So far, nothing. Today feels the same as yesterday...only I'm running on less sleep and I'm a little more stressed. I still have 8 hours left for good luck to be bestowed upon me so bring it on lil' lucky penny!

Old Farts

2006-05-21T11:47:00.000-07:00

It's a gloomy Sunday morning. I had a green tea latte, did some grocery shopping and now I'm trying to motivate myself to go through my closet & put clothes aside for Goodwill. I want to clear some stuff out before the dreaded move. I have no idea where we're moving...I'm still dreaming of the little blue house...everything is up in the air! Everything!

Steph, Larry, Rene & I went to The Whiskey last night to see thier friend's band. It was really cool to go out & people watch. I haven't been to see a band play in awhile so I was excited. We realized that we all have become old farts because we left before the main act (a Van Halen tribute band) finished. They were really good but the four of us could barely keep our eyes open. My back was killing me & my hearing still hasn't come back! I feel so old! We saw Hugh Hefner which was pretty funny...atleast we stayed out later then him! On the way to the freeway we drove down Sunset passing by all my old haunts. I thought of Crystal & Becky...we used to have fun...I think we had fun! haha! It seems so long ago!

I added more pictures to my Flickr Photo Album. Check it out. Tonight Stephen, Greg, Jenn & I are BBQing. I'm making Strawberry Shortcake. I'll pig out & then it's back to my " sort of" diet tomorrow. I think all those green tea lattes have had an effect on my metabolism. I lost 5 pounds since I started drinking one for breakfast every morning! If they ever take those off the menu I'll start a campaign to bring them back. I'm still mad about Jamba Juice taking the Green Tea Juices off the menu. They were the best...well I'm off to lunch with my lover man.

Friday Blues

2006-05-19T14:29:00.000-07:00

Today everyone in the office is relaxed and in a good mood. Most of the managers are out today and it's Friday! A co-worker brought in her teacup chihuahua. He's so cute! I want to dog-nap him & bring him in my cubicle to cheer me up & keep me company. Unfortunately, I'm a little bummed today. I couldn't sleep last night because I had a gazillion things running through my mind like a filmstrip. My morning started off pretty bad. I woke up & gave Sammy her meds which she ended up throwing up. I gave her more & she spit most of that up. She hid in back of the TV until I picked her up & attempted to give her some cat treats. I think this was the first time ever that she was happy to see me leave in the morning. It made me feel horrible! There are a bunch of things bothering me...huge decisions to make...hormones...and my sad INFP spirit which is constantly searching for the perfect in all things.

Good News

2006-05-18T14:38:00.000-07:00

My Sammy's kidneys are functioning well for her age! I'm so glad that I took her to the vet because they found out that she has a bad bladder infection & her thyroid medication needs to be adjusted. My poor baby has been suffering with this infection for who knows how long and I had no idea. I'm glad I took her in.

I drove by the house yesterday. It's old but very cute! I would be so happy if Stephen likes it & we actually got it! I hope he gets out of work soon enough to meet me there tonight to tour the inside. I drove by a few other nearby houses that are for rent. They are smaller, uglier & way more expensive. This place is ideal but the owner says that there are many people applying for it so I am kind of doubtful it will work out. =( I hope I hope I hope....

I <3 Sammy

2006-05-17T15:43:00.000-07:00

I took my Sammy Pie to the to vet yesterday for a senior wellness exam. She's probably still mad at me. They probed, prodded & pricked her. My poor kitty was crying the whole time. I asked them to cut her vampire nails. Her toes are pretty now. Sammy's pedicure cost more then mine! I'm hoping that her kidneys are functioning well. She only weighs 3 pounds! She's always been a petite cat but 3 pounds is on the scary side...sometimes I can barely feel her weight on my lap. I have to call tomorrow for results on her kidney function. I realize that there is a possibility her kidneys are failing and I am prepared for the outcome...or maybe I'm not. I don't know what I'd do without her. She has been my best friend for 19 years. 19 years is a very long time for a cat...but not long enough.

In other news...I had great chats with both Mo & Kristie last night. Mo told me about a craftsman 1920s house for rent on her street. She has really good taste so I got super excited & called the owners right away. Mo says that several other people are interested so I'm going over there tomorrow to fill out an application. It's too good to be true but still worth a try. Stephen & I might drive by tonight to take a peek. I'm so sick of apartment life. The home prices are so insane that buying a house is impossible. Renting sucks but my generation has few choices. I'm sad for us all!

i LuV sTePhEn

2006-05-16T14:22:00.000-07:00

I finally finished a project I've been putting off for a few days...with that behind me and a rearranged cubicle I am much more relaxed. I went to pick up some necessaties at Target & I bought the cutest blazer for 9 bucks. They're having a huge sale on clothes! It kind of looks like a jacket an old fashioned ice cream man or member of a barber shop quartet might wear. It's eccentric and yet adorable! I wonder if it's too loud for a job interview? I need a new job. The traffic from my apartment is really getting ridiculous and besides Stephen & I are toying with the idea of moving to Whittier when our lease is up. I already have a possible interview this week somewhere in L.A. but I'm not that crazy about the position. It dosen't pay a whole lot more then I'm already getting and it's a Senior Admin job. I'm so over being someone's bitch. I really want something in the arts, publishing, marketing or non-profit that is more on the lines of a project manager or coordinator position. I've paid my dues and I'm ready to move on to bigger and better things. This is a really big decision. Despite my complaining I would really miss my job. I love my co-workers, the flexibility and my cool cube. For the most part my job is easy. I get my stuff done and then I can kick back. I love that. Anyway, since I have a job I can afford to be picky and I will. I don't want to make any hasty decisions. Any advice would be nice! =) It would be great to have some extra income. I could have made 10,ooo dollars today because they called my birthday on KIIS F.M.!!! If only I would have listened! What I could do with $10,000!!!...I signed up with flickr ( check my links section) to make it easier to show my pictures to friends and family. I'm still a big fan of Kodak Gallery for slideshows and editing. flickr will allow me to connect more slideshow pictures to my blog. I havn't put any new pictures on there but I will add some tonight. I'll post pictures of the new puppy and our Saturday bike ride. Keep checking in. xoxo...
p.s. I just want to tell the whole world (since Stephen thinks the whole world reads my blog) that I have the best boyfriend in the whole world.