I am mine

I had an interview today. It was literally around the block. It's an awesome opportunity but of course I came across as an idiot & screwed it up for myself. Here's why it was an awesome opportunity.

Great position
No commute vs. my 1.5 hour commute each way
A month off every year
Great hours - gives me time to go to the gym, craft, have pets, have a life
My own office

I don't hate my current job in fact I am kind of fond of it & the people I work with. The hours & the commute are what's driving me insane. At least once a day I'm in my car practically in tears. I'm getting home after dark now. I'm ready to go to bed & start all over again as soon as I get home. Soooooo, I apply for this job & lo and behold I get the interview. The lady interviewing me seemed nice enough in our e-mail correspondence. She ended up being quite serious, a little eccentric & kind of a bitch. She asked me tough questions & wouldn't let me go on to the next question until she was 100% happy with my answer. She kept asking me to "elaborate" & was kind of rude. She made me really nervous & I started to trip over my words. I was so uncomfortable! She told me I was cutting my answers too short, not marketing myself good enough & then she picked up my resume to critic it line by line. I wanted to go home & crawl under my blankets. I tried to pull it together but it was too late. It hurt because her criticisms were totally on. Everything she said was true! I couldn't verbalize to her why she should hire me no matter how hard I tried. My nerves caused me to become tongue tied! Since kindergarten I've been wishing I could be like everyone else - a go getter, aggressive, tough, outgoing. It's hard being an INFP. The constant pressure to conform has been constant throughout my life. I'm sick of being fake, it takes so much energy. Take me or leave me. I don't think I'm capable of changing. Should I be forced to change? To get a ahead, maybe. I don't know.

P.S. I think Tonkinese cats are all INFPs. That's why I love um!

P.P.S. The lady also said I needed a firmer handshake. LOL! My dad used to say holding my hand is like holding a cloud & I like it that way! What does a firm handshake say about a person?