Today's Lunch

Today sucked bad. I'm exhausted, grumpy and ready to go home. I'm done with today!

A bunch of nothing

The Weekend
Busy Busy Busy...Went to a show at The Galaxy on Friday with Stephen, his bros & his cousin. I forgot how much I hate General Admission. We got there early and I got a pretty good place by the stage. I eventually lost my spot up front due to a fight between a drunk 40-something and a Biker 4 Jesus. It was hot, stuffy and stinky. I made it through a one man band, a Christian rock band with a singer sporting a mamel toe (a man camel toe) and a sexy 50 year old dude playing guitar with his shirt off. Dude, I think 50 year old guys are hot! I am getting ooooold! LOL! The band we were there to see didn't go on until midnight and after their third song I couldn't handle it any longer. I retreated to a cozy table by the bar. Why didn't I think of that earlier? A show isn't as cool from afar. There's nothing better then getting up close and personal with the band. Unfortunately, four hours on my feet stuck between a bunch of sweaty dudes just wasn't cool. I had fun. I'm always up for an adventure.

Saturday was another Grad party and on Sunday I visited my old manager Rose who is suffering with pancreatic cancer. Rose is so amazing and inspiring and I am blown away by her strength. We went to lunch and had a huge bottle of champagne to celebrate my new job and of course to celebrate life. After two glasses I was seeing double and had to cut myself off. We gossiped about our old co-workers and chatted for hours about every thing under the sun. It was great. I'm going to try and plan a happy hour with the other girls soon. It's just so hard to get everyone together these days.

Swaps
I joined a few more swaps. I couldn't help myself. They're all pretty easy & don't require much money so it shouldn't be too much of a burden. I'll post pictures of what I'm sending soon. I've been so bad about taking pictures of swaps I receive and I promise to try and be better. One of my swaps is called CALLING ALL CRAFTING COMADRES,CHOLAS,FIRME HYNAS,RUCAS. I thought it was a fun idea and I think I have an idea of what I'm going to send...but I'll keep it a secret until I snap a photo. Some of the others are a Paper Art Doll Swap & A Bottle Cap Shrine swap. I can't wait to get to work on these. It's so much fun, but I seriously think someone needs to call a swap intervention!

Stephen's B-day!
This Saturday is Stephen's 28th birthday! We're having a little gathering over at his gramps on Saturday and I'm going to take him out on Friday. I love his birthday more then my own and hopefully I can make it extra special for him.

A Day in the Life
I posted some pictures I took today on my Flickr account. My camera is busted and I'm using Stephen's work camera which isn't so great. Check them out anyway and see some of the things I saw today. Check this out http://www.shakespeareinthecemetery.com/. I drive by here everyday & it's a pretty interesting spot. I love old Hollywood. I snapped some photos this morning and saw the banner. I want to go! Sounds strange & very cool.

I Believe in Ghosts!!!

I am a swap addict! I keep telling myself that I need to cut down on swaps, especially with a new job that hogs most of my time these days. I just can't stop! I'm at least going to try and cut down on the swaps that require a trip to the post office. It's so addicting! I get sad when I don't have any swaps lined up. Nothing beats coming home to a swap package full of swappy goodness! I joined a easy swap called I Believe in Ghosts which requires me to write a letter to someone telling them about why I believe in ghosts. Lately some odd things have been going on in our little blue house so I thought this was an appropriate swap. Other then whats been going on in our house I have had two other "paranormal experiences" happen to me while staying in old hotels. I'll fill you in on those another time but let me tell you about the experiences going on in our home sweet home. The house we live in was built in the early 1920's and that's pretty much all I know of it's history. I love the house despite a few annoyances like the tiny bathroom and the non-existent counter space. The only thing creepy about it is the basement which I actually only peeked into. We moved in almost exactly one year ago and here are some of the things that have happened.

1. A few days after moving in I was taking a nap on the couch. I woke up because I felt someone touching my feet. I opened my eyes and saw what I thought was Stephen duck behind the couch and crawl into the computer room. I thought he was playing a joke on me and I was rather annoyed so I went back to sleep. When I woke up I looked for him and he wasn't there. He was still at work! Now this all could have been my imagination or a weird dream so I just brushed it off and didn't think much of it until other things started to happen.

2. On Thanksgiving I was on the couch and Stephen was in the shower. At the same time we both smelled an intense perfume smell. He thought I sprayed perfume under the door (why on earth would I do that!?) and I didn't know where it came from.

3. The trash can lid will swing on its own. Stephen saw it happen the first time and then one day I was cooking soup and I saw it with my own eyes. I thought that something at the top fell to the bottom to cause it to swing. I checked it and tried to find the cause. I couldn't recreate what happend except by pushing the lid. I stepped back and was looking at the trash can very confused and then it did it again!

4. I was in the kitchen and I felt as if someone was behind me. I figured that Stephen came in quietly to sneak up on me. I turned around and no one was there. It gave me the chills.

5. We hear steps on our porch quite often. I run to peek out the window to see who it is and no one is there. We thought it might be an animal or our imagination. I had a bunch of friends over for a party and we had the front door open. I heard the footsteps and several of the girls peeked outside to see who was coming up the steps. No one was there and this was witnessed by several people who knew nothing of these sounds.

6. Stephen was leaving for work and when he walked through the kitchen he heard a women's voice whisper "Staaaaaaay". Now keep in mind that he is one of the most honest people I know and doesn't make up stories or invent things. At least the voice didn't say "Get Out!"

So there you go! You be the judge! I'm sure you skeptics can come up with some logical explanations. I'll update you if something else spooooky happens.

Blog-O-Line is back!!!

Geez, it's been awhile! So much has happened and I have so much to share. First, and most importantly...after months of interviews and countless rejections I found a job. I'm working for a small non-profit in West Hollywood. I had several offers but I picked the one with the nicest people and highest salary. Unfortunately, it's the farthest from home and I get out at 6pm which stinks. I got home at 8pm one day! Arghhhh! I've been here two and a half weeks and I'm slowly adjusting to commuting and being a stressed out, working girl again. I must say that it feels good to be working. I do miss my daily errands and freedom. I don't miss being broke! I have a grown-up title and I'm in the field of my choice. I don't know if this is my dream job - probably not, but time will tell. I am thankful to not have to go on another interview or get anymore job hunting advice from friends and family. No offense to those of you who offered advice...but what I really needed in that situation was an ear, a hug and some real job leads! I'm thinking of writing an article about the experiences I had on this journey...some of the interviews were pretty humorous. Anyway, this job has been an adventure so far. Other then the traffic I think the only other things I dislike about my job is the parking garage (it smells like piss) and the bathroom (you need a key, only one toilet works and it's just nasty). So, there's a little bit about my job. I will tell you more details as soon as I'm settled and actually know what I'm doing. I just did a fun swap where I had to take random pictures with a disposable camera and send it to my swap partner. I had so much fun taking pictures throughout my day so I got an idea to take pictures of a day in the life (of me) and post them here...so keep checking in for that. I may do it tomorrow since most of my office is in NY this week. =) Other then the new job I've been busy with a thousand birthdays and graduations. I've been going going going! It's been crazy! Anyway, I'll try and get into the habit of posting daily or at the very least, weekly. Check in and say hello! Drop me a line and give this blog some love!

Quick note

As soon as my life became filled with a gazillion things to blog about...my computer broke...I'm lost without a computer!!! Anyway, I'm using a friends to say that as soon as things slow down and I get a computer I will write and fill you all in.

Hugs,
Caroline

P.S. Stephen says Hi...

2nd Annual Easter Egg Coloring Party

This year we celebrated at Greg and Jenn's new pad. We BBQed delsih hamburgers provided by moi, but cooked to perfection by The Gregmeister. I brought yummy Easter Bunny cupcakes (I, along with all the hipsters have a serious cupcake addiction...except I loved them before they were cool!). Jenn provided the eggs and the dye. I bought this really cool Easter egg bug kit at last year's after Easter sale at Target (note to self: GO TO TARGET TOMORROW - early!!!). The bug eggs were adorable. I actually got Stephen to create one before he snuck off with Greg to have a "jam session". His was the best! I think our eggs really fit our personalities! Greg also made his 2nd annual cartoon egg. He's getting good at this! It was Stewie from Family Guy. Check out last year's post to see our creations. I can't believe it's already been a year! Today was a lazy Easter day spent with my lovie. We slept in, ate a greasy Mexican brunch at Taco Shack, made an attempt at the movies but ended up vegging out in front of the tube. I watched a whole season of last season's America's Top Model while Stephen surfed the net. The Easter Bunny spoiled Stephen! He got a tiny basket stuffed with goodies, a kite (the kite was really for me!) and a very special surprise from the Easter Carrie. He really deserved something nice - he's been so patient and wonderful. The Bunny brought me Dippin Dots and a basket full of love and hope. Just what I needed.

Happy Easter

I've been meaning to add a post all week but I got lazy! I had such a fun weekend, hanging out with my love and I had planned on writing all about our adventures. Oh well...I added a few pictures of my weekend to my Flickr account for your enjoyment. This weekend is Easter...Wow, my blog is almost a year old already! I have successfully documented the hardest year in my life. I'm hoping that this year my blog is full of hope, creativety and adventure.

Tonight is The 2nd Annual Easter Egg Coloring Fest with Jenn & Greg. Easter wouldn't be Easter without coloring eggs.

Here is what I hope the Easter Bunny will bring.

1. A new job...that I love
2. A porch swing

3. These Uggs

4. A fab pair of jeans

5. THIS

6. A dishwasher (I have a sink full)

5. A bathtub

6. THEM

7. HIM

8. A cupcake from here

9. Xanax

10. Inspiration

Let me off! NOW!

I've been riding a roller coaster for the last six months and I'm ready to hop off! Mostly I've been headed downhill, full speed ahead, through a dark tunnel, white knuckling it the whole way. Throughout the ride I lost creativity, self confidence and worst of all, hope. Slowly, I'm trying to find myself again. I'm going to get off this ride - I am determined to do it. I am fearless and ready. Here goes everything!

In search of myself and all that I've lost, I have decided to get crafty again. I went to Michael's today and bought some supplies to make a wish book. I'm going to create pages of what I wish for in my life. If I make it, IT will come. I'll post photos along this creative journey.

So far, 30 has been great. OK, so the whole not having a job thing stinks...but otherwise I am exactly where I imagined myself to be at 30. Sure, I want marriage, babies & owning a house would be icing on the cake - but I never needed all of that by 30 years and 9 days. Things will come together and I want to cherish everyday and love myself the way I am right now, this very second. I don't want to hate myself because I feel the pressure of everyone's expectations for me. Marriage and babies will come soon. I have been inspired by several women who have waited until their 30s to start a family. For all of us, it is not because of circumstance that we waited. It is because of choice. I am proud of the choices I made. I waited for the right time and for the right person. Thank God, Hallelujah, Praise da Lord I didn't have a baby with the first (or second) guy to come around. I'd be on a whole different roller coaster if my life would have turned out that way. I'm happy, I love my guy more then I've loved anyone - ever. I'm happy that I waited. Check out this little bit of inspiration I found in this month's Glamour. I also found the picture of a really pretty ring. I'll post it up somewhere in the house just in case...just in case I get sick of waiting...hehe....

I added more pics to my Photo Album. Check out my swaps & a bunch of my random pictures. Taking pictures is relaxing. I am addicted to Steph's new camera. ssshhhhh - I've been sneakily using it. hehehehe...I've yet to add any of me at my birthday party. I just hate the way I looked that day! Couldn't someone have told me I desperately needed compact! Anyway, keep checking in. I prmise to "spice up" my blog. My poor blog is a snooze fest! I have a couple cool topics on the backburner. Less venting! I pinky promise!

I have my fingers crossed behind my back. ;-) hehehe...

The Orange Eating Bandit Strikes Again!

The party is over!

My week long 30th birthday celebration has finally come to an end. It ended on Saturday with a big celebration at Bar Celona in Pasadena with family and friends. It was good to see everyone I love together, eating, talking, laughing and having a good time. I got so many nice gifts but seeing everyone together was the best gift of them all. The restaurant was cool, the cake was delicious and the Sangria was to die for!!! My camera pooped out so I'm a little delayed on adding pictures to flickr. I borrowed two different cameras and I'm trying to get a hold of the memory sticks to make a slide show of the big bash. It was a fun party but it would have been even better if it wasn't MY party. I couldn't help stressing out that people weren't having a good time, that they had spent too much money on me or that I looked hideously fat & ugly. Not to mention that I feel as though I have a huge U on my chest for UNEMPLOYED and everyone can see it. I hate that I am so insecure right now. It's a combination of events over the last 6 months that has got me to this low point. I want the old me back! I know I'm somewhere under this blanket of self hate. I don't want to be like this, I really, really don't. Relying on someone else for survival is a really humbling experience...it's been tough but my family has been there, and will continue to be there, loving me unconditionally... & for this I am most grateful. I hope things change soon - for your sake, my dear blog readers! The stress is zapping my fun & creativity. I'm losing it & I'm sorry.

Hello 30

I'm officially 30. I don't feel older - maybe just a little more depressed about my failure to find a job. At 29, being unemployed sucked, but at 30, it's pathetic! Yesterday was a nice break from job hunting & all the stress that comes along with it. I have to admit that I did send out 1 resume even though I promised myself I would stay off the job sites. I couldn't help myself! I had a nice lunch with Billy, did a little Target shopping and had dinner at Benihana with Stephen & some of his family. I always over eat there! I couldn't even finish my green tea ice cream because my stomach felt like it was going to explode! I'm still recovering from that meal today! It was goooooooooood! I have been pampered by friends and family and my real party isn't until Saturday! I feel so loved! Stephen bought me a gift certificate to the salon across the street so I am getting "made over" this afternoon. I'm also thankful to all the people who told me the 30s have been (or were) their best years. I am looking forward to all the adventures yet to come. 30s be good to me!

Goodbye 20s!!!

In less then 24 hours I turn the BIG 3-0!!! Today is the last day of my 20s! Now it's really hitting me! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!! Saturday marked the beginning of the week long celebration. Stephen's family had a bbq and b-day celebration for his cousin, sister and myself. There was delicious food and I got to hit a pinata the first time since I was a kid. It was so much fun. They are so sweet to me. I got so many really nice cards and gifts. On Sunday I went to Disneyland with my mom & my niece, Lisa. I got them up early so we could make it there in time for a Mickey Mouse waffle. Soooo good! I had a really nice day with them. Tomorrow (my real birthday) it's supposed to rain. My luck! I'll probably go out to a nice dinner with Stephen and then on Saturday I will celebrate with my family & closest friends (wish you could be there becs!)! Yeah! All this celebrating has caused me to stop my weigh loss success - I guess it doesn't matter since (still) no one has noticed the 13 pound loss! This afternoon I'm going shopping with Jenn to find something to wear for my party. I'm excited! I haven't been to the mall & shopped for myself in ages! I'm usually a (lazy & cheap) Target shopper. I buy everything from Target. I love that place! I got a Target gift certificate from Stephen's aunt for my birthday & I spent it yesterday. I bought a new curling iron, alphabet stamps, and some necessities. I have five dollars left to spend so I am probably going to head back there this afternoon for razors - which I forgot...In other news, no word from the job - or any job for that matter. Very frustrating...but I'm going to put the search (& all the stress that comes with it) on the back burner. Tomorrow I vow not to open up Monster or Craigslist and I will not keeping checking my phone for messages. I'm going to forget about all the bad things - at least until Thursday rolls around.

Good Luck

I have slacked on the blogging this week. I really haven't had anything interesting to report. On Tuesday, I had a test for a job I interviewed for last week. I'm waiting (not so) patiently to see if I make it to stage 3 of the interview process. The test was very difficult - well the computer part was easy, but they gave me a grammar test and I'm embarrassed to say, I probably only got half correct at best. I'm so frustrated with myself! I either ace the interview but fail the test or I score high on a test and blow the interview. Some of the tests I've taken for administrative jobs are quite difficult. How does anyone pass these things & get hired? I know a lot of college educated people who would fail miserably. The only thing keeping me from having a breakdown is that I have this strange gut feeling that (soon) something is going to happen that will change my life. A good thing...I feel lucky, excited and I've had stomach butterflies all week. I hope it's the job - I really need this job! Hopefully the butterflies are not a result of the anxiety I'm feeling about turning 30 in less then a week! My family & Stephen is throwing me a little luncheon at a place in Pasadena next weekend. I'm half excited half dreading it. I had a dream that there was a microphone set up at the party and people got up to do a roast and said really humiliating things about me not being able to find a job. It was awful. Being unemployed is killing whatever little bit of self esteem I had! I went biking with Stephen on Tuesday and I made in up Turnbull without getting off my bike to rest. It made me feel really good for the first time in months. It was the first goal I accomplished in such a long time. It was a stress reliever and a temporary ego boost. Plus it was good to be outdoors with my honey. Anyway friends, I wish you a Happy St. Patty's! I'll be at the lake with Stephen & his familia tomorrow. xoxo

Self Portraits

junk as far as the eye can see

Today felt like the endless day. Stephen woke me up this morning because Gregifer invited us to tag along with them at the Santa Fe Springs Swap Meet. I resisted at first only because I had been then once before and it was a miserable experience. I remember it being hotter then hell & full of cholos. It was exactly as I remembered. Today was the hottest winter day I can ever remember and the swap meet was ghetto in all it's glory. Veteranos in wheelchairs, teen moms, crowds and the sweltering heat. I did manage to find a cute butterfly for the garden - full of lead paint but it's very pretty nonetheless. I was hoping that I could find some craft supplies in all the bins of junk but no luck. There was so much to see - aisles and aisles of stuff, Mexican music blasting and the glorious smell of fried tortillas - my senses were on overload. You can find a little mix of everything there. Tupac blankets, granny panties, knock off purses, Mexican candy, birds, tools, samurai swords, used baby furniture, coffins and you can even get a massage! After buying some useless items and feeling tired and dehydrated we made our way back to car. We did some more shopping on the way home - Greg & Jenn bought some furniture for their new pad and we stopped for a much needed Starbucks. My new fave drink is Passion Tea Lemonade - two pumps melon , one pump raspberry - Refreshing - you must try! We came back to our neck of the woods, did a little relaxing and then went out for pizza. I messed up on the "non-diet" a little but I'll be back on tomorrow - I want to lose 5 more before the BIG 3-0!!!. I just finished organizing the craft room and now I'm about to study for a test I'm taking on Tuesday for a job I really want. Phew - what a day! I hate Sundays - even worse now that I'm not working. It's the realization that another week is coming and I still don't have anything lined up - plus another endless week of job hunting is ahead. It's really draining...but I'm going to go into this week with a good attitude and maybe I can make something happen.

Still not a winner

I didn't win the MEGA Millions - I didn't match a single number! However, I did land a really promising interview with a huge corporation run by a mouse who wears red shorts. I probably wouldn't have got the interview but a previous employer has a connection to the recruiter and that got her attention. Lucky break, I guess. Now if only I can land the job. I have a couple of other interviews on the horizon and I'm determined to get hired somewhere soon.

I finished my fairy doll for the Fairy Bower Doll & Matchbox Swap. She's no dainty fairy! She's a short, husky, flamboyant sprite & she's got a head or fiery hair. I had so much fun making her. I used polymer clay, paint, fabric, buttons, and yarn. The other part of the swap is to decorate a little matchbox and fill it with fairy items. I filled hers with flowers, lady bugs, butterflies, shells, stars, animals & other cute little embellishments. This has been one of my favorite swaps! I'm mailing her tomorrow and I'll be sad to see her go...but she's going to a good home.

Check my photo album - I've added some random pictures and one of my empty garden. I created a small fenced in garden in our little side yard. I planted seeds last week and I'll be taking photos of the progress. Hopefully something other then clovers and dandelions will grow on that side of the house.

Travel Bugs & jackpots

Look at where my travel bugs have been! Punky is on a group tour in chilly Michigan, Blues is in New Zealand at Waikawa Beach and Miss Travel Bunny finally got picked up this week and will be on her way very soon. One of my other TB's is still waiting to be picked up in a cold & lonely cache in Whittier and the other has gone missing - I'm guessing stolen and given to some newbie geocacher's kid! These little toys are jet-setting around the world while the original jet-set chick is dying for an adventure of her own! It's been almost two years since my last really big adventure. I'm yearning for a change of scenery...but I'm stuck here until I FINALLY land a job and earn some vacation. Hopefully I'll win the huge MEGA Millions jackpot tonight and then I'll be free of job hunting forever! I have a bunch of old lottery tickets sitting here that I'm not ready to check. I hate finding out I'm not a winner...I like to imagine I have the winning ticket in my grasp. It gives me something to think about when I can't sleep. I like to imagine what I'd do with the money...but for the time being a new job would feel just as good as winning a huge jackpot.

Venting, Bunnies, Coins & Swaps

I'm feeling better today then yesterday. The job hunt in really draining...I know people want to be helpful but I wish people would stop saying "keep trying" or "apply here" and "you need to do this", etc. Then there's the other group of people who say "you're so lucky to be off work", "the job you didn't get was meant to be" & "enjoy your vacation". I know people are just trying be helpful...but it doesn't help...it only makes things harder. People don't realize how hard I'm trying and how horrible I feel. I got turned down for a four week temp job! How humiliating is that?!?! The only reason I went to the damn temp agency is because of someone told me that it's sooooo easy to get a job through them. I called three temp agencies on Friday & none of them were of any help. I've never felt so desperate. Anyway, today I'm feeling more hopeful but it's up & down.

Yesterday I received a lovely package from my Swap Angel Melissa. It was a nice surprise! I never received my Valentine's Day Swap & she was so sweet to fill in for my flaky partner. I ate the chocolate before I had a chance to snap a photo. I really needed some chocolate yesterday! =) I finished my Latin Matchbox Shrines during the week. I'm pretty happy with how they turned out. The swap deadline is a few weeks away but I had the urge to be crafty. I hope my partners like them. My camera battery was dying so the pictures don't due them justice. I can't wait to send them. I also snapped the pictures above of some of my Easter decorations. Again, the picture doesn't due them justice. I'm loving Easter now that I've rediscovered the cuteness of Easter decorations. I'm even appreciating pastels! I have an small egg collection that I still have to display. I'm tempted to join the Bunny Swap on Swap-bot but I think I may be overextending myself already. I also took a photo of some Geocoins I discovered this morning. I made a quick travel bug drop at a local cache & I picked these up. I'm loving coins these days! If you don't know about Geocaching, Geocoins or Travel Bugs yet...do some research & click these links. It's a great hobby...well if you like the outdoors and treasure hunts. =)

Disappearing

I don't feel like writing and I don't feel like explaining why...I feel like Meridith from Grey's Anatomy...I feel like disappearing...I want to be invisible...I wish I had a bathtub to disappear into.

Happy Birthday Sammy!

Yesterday we celebrated Sammy's 20th birthday. My parents, Billy & Sylvia came over to experience the unusual event. I made a tri-tip, salad, corn and Sylvia made yummy potato salad. I was going to make a cake but I got lazy and bought one from Albertson's - it did the trick. I bought a few decorations from Dollar Tree and made Sammy a little Fancy Feast cake to make it even more special. Of course the party was really more for me then it was for her. She could care less! She did enjoy her cake & she loves company. It was a ridiculous idea like all my others...but it was lots of fun. Happy 20th Birthday Sammy!

I joined a couple of new swaps on swap-bot. I have swapping fever! I am just about to send out my flat goodies swap & I'll put my Born in 1977 swap together as soon as I get my partners info and find out a little more about her. I recently joined a swap called Latin Matchbox Shrine and I found an unusual swap where we have to make a little fairy doll. I think I am going to stick to crafting swaps for the time being. They require little or no money except for postage. I got stiffed on the Valentine's Swap. It was only my second time dealing with a non sender...It sucks but someone ( a swap angel) has kindly offered to send me a package. Isn't that sweet?

Job hunt update: I am waiting to hear back from the temp agency about starting a job this week or next. Today is a holiday so I have to wait until tomorrow to get the full details. Cross your fingers for me. Right now any job will be the best job! The pressure to find something gets worse everyday and I am suffering from insomnia & when I finally get to sleep I have nightmares. Last night I dreamt that the lady from a job I applied to called me and said that they wanted to hire me without even meeting me first! I was so happy! Waking up and realizing it was all a dream became the nightmare!